Story 108: Reflections; A List

So, we have finally arrived at the 108th story. One full trip around the mala; one cycle finished, another about to begin. This is how life works. One action leads to another, one story links to another. The endless flow of memories are like that, too. Over the course of these last 3 months, these stories have not only been a way for me to pay homage and memorial to my dearly departed, beloved companion, but also a way for me to turn all of the knowledge that Laika imparted in me throughout her life into actual wisdom.

On the plane yesterday, I was watching a wonderful video that someone put together about the mystical Indian poet Kabir. There is one quote that stuck with me, "if you have not lived through something, it is not true." I can safely say that without spending over a decade of our lives together, that Laika and I both wouldn't have realized the truths of compassion and selfless love. Yes, I miss her everyday, especially after returning from a long trip to a house that is devoid of her presence, but nothing can last forever. Greetings and partings should both be treated with the same respect and joy, as they are bookends to experiences that through reflection can lead to personal and spiritual growth as well as realizations of life's hidden truths. Laika was a teacher, and these stories are a testament to the lessons I now more fully understand.

I was wondering what the best way to write this last story would be, as I still have a list of exciting, sad and brave tales of Big Baby's life. The flow of these stories was sometimes planned and sometimes influenced by other more coincidences that reminded me of sometime deep in my memories that suddenly came clearly back in vivid color. So, I will take this idea from the movie Because of Winn-Dixie, which I just watched tonight for the first time with my parents, brother and nephew during our day after Thanksgiving gathering. In the movie, which was actually really good, a few characters make lists of 10 things they remember about loved ones who are missing in some way. At the end of the movie, Winn-Dixie comes back, as does the joy in the many characters' lives. Laika came back bravely hundreds of times during her sometimes hard life of battling cancer and other ailments, always with tail wagging and love to spread. I never constructed such a list, but after writing all of these stories, I am going to try. Here are 10 things that I will always remember about her:

1. Laika lived each day of her life bravely, even in the face of the unknown and obvious suffering. Her spirit and strength were, and still are, constant inspiration.

2. She had friends and admirers everywhere. She constantly showed that giving unconditional love and being around those who love in return is where true joy comes from.

3. Laika could adapt to any situation. Her life was a model for taking the hand she was dealt, sniffing it, and then resuming her tail wagging.

4. She showed that with right effort and conditions, even the seemingly worst habits can be transformed. (See Story 25.)

5. Laika was always happy to eat. It was potentially the greatest joy in her life. This was a never ending joy, too, as she was also always hungry!

6. She found ways to break the rules in ways that didn't really break the rules, which is a testament to her (sometimes too) clever problem solving skills.

7. Laika learned one trick. She turned that trick into a treat-getting joke, which somehow became an even better trick...which was still the same trick as before. Yes, a true magician. (See Story 32.)

8. She was a loyal and fearless protector (except against creaky doors and fireworks).

9. Laika turned mischief into a complete art form, redefining the meaning of the word through her creative and active mind. (See pretty much every story.) 

10. She was a true, quirky goofball who lived each day radiating excitement and joy. Her wiggly body, whiskered kisses and (sometimes dangerous) wagging tail were not just behaviors, they were extensions of her soul; her smallest and greatest gifts to the world.

Is this post a story? Probably not, in the traditional sense at least. It is, however, a tale that is ongoing as I continue to live this life that I was lucky enough to share with Laika, another being who gave to me more than I know I gave to her. I could easily write 108 more stories or list another 10 memorable things about her, but it still wouldn't be enough to convey how profoundly Miss Laika affected my life. I am forever changed and blessed by meeting her and for the opportunity to care for her through both good and bad. I now know that love doesn't need to start at greetings and cease at endings. Love exists always, it is the essence of all things.

Thank you Laika, I love you.

Story 107: Laika's Many Names

This past evening, I just returned from my trip. Unlike every previous time, Laika was not here to greet me. This is the reality of life, the reality of parting from the ones you love. With this project of devotion and memory nearly complete, I wanted to make these final two posts highlight her best aspects. Today is also Thanksgiving, and it is in that spirit that I offer this writing as a means of thanking Laika for all she gave to inspire, teach and entertain me in both good and bad times.

Throughout Laika's life, she acquired so many names which were reflected in these stories. Since this is the penultimate tale, I think is a wonderful time to present the finest ones with small little descriptions of how she came to acquire them. Here goes:

Baby Girl - this was Laika's name when Missy's old boss found here on the street. Not a creative name, but that was soon to change.

Laika - the official given name of our loveable, incorrigible protagonist of these epic tales. Missy chose the name to be spelled Leica, like the brand of camera, but I decided to go with the spelling to honor the first dog in space. Little did we know that Laika was actually from another galaxy! Perhaps choosing a more terrestrial name would have grounded her behavior a bit more to the ways of this planet. However, I wouldn't change anything, especially her name. It just fit!

Freak Bean - one half of the Freak Beans, Laika and Heisa made quite a dynamic duo. This nickname for them came about because I got a record by a band of the same name. Not only was it fun to say "freak beans" in a weird alien voice, but these two were total weirdos. This name stuck for years and years. (Coincidentally. Heisa was, herself, dubbed Bean early on.)

Baby Mosher - this was reserved for Laika's semi-destructive streak as a youth. She moshed what she saw.

Big Baby _____ - calling Laika by part of her previous given name plus any other word was a clear formula for getting a wild burst of loving, wiggly attention from her. She somehow knew these were terms of endearment and would respond by endearing herself immediately. Popular combinations were: Big Baby, Big Baby Laika, Big Baby Idiot (when she did something particularly dangerous), and Big Baby Butthead (or its derivative Mrs. Butthead or just plain Butthead).

Mrs. Mouse - this was by far the best of her nicknames. Elaina gave it to her because of Laika's love of cheese and her lovely, mousey whiskers. There was never an explanation or even inquiry into whether there was a Mr. Mouse or what came to be of him. There was occasionally speculation, though. Regardless, it was the most popular of her aliases. She would respond to this nickname with wagging tail and a flurry of kisses.

The Queen (of Mellon Street) - no explanation necessary for Her Royal Highness Laika I.

Miss Laika - her more "proper" name given by her friends in the oncology department. She was such a good girl there that this formality was completely necessary!

Laika Bear - Chris and Steph's go-to for their term of endearment for Big Baby Laika.

These are just some of the more enduring and memorable names that Laika responded to with full joy and affection. Given the great depth of her character and quirky personality, she wasn't a one-name kind of lady. In each situation and to each person she loved, Laika played a special role that was always reflected in these terms of endearment that we chose to honor her place in our hearts.

Bangkok Roundup Pt. 1

Apologies to the loyal readers who were missing out on the last week of my trip. Bangkok is a very interesting and diverse place, there are endless possibilities of things to do there...but this comes with the price of not affording leisure in most aspects of life. Everything is a non-stop battle with the physical (cars, boats, buses, people, motorbikes) and the abstract (time). Awesome things are happening, but, like all things in life, trying to take it all in is an invitation to miss out on the essence of what actually matters. So, I didn't write much at the time because I wanted a chance to let the whole cloth dye itself, rather than doing it a bit at a time. The color just wouldn't be right.

I already posted a play-by-play of the Bangkok experience in Thai, but this will be more reflection than explanation. I am going to maybe try to group things together by themes, but some things can't be separated easily at all. Here goes:

Language
For some reason, I went through more periods of "settling" in my Thai speaking this past week. I hit a comfort zone in Chiang Mai that quickly evaporated in Bangkok. It was definitely mental and at various points seemed a bit crippling at times due to over-thinking. My comprehension is way higher than before for certain, but my speaking is still catching-up. Also, an honest friend said that I needed work on more "native-like" speaking, which is true but hit me at an already critical moment, which didn't really help. But, in the past few days I made a concerted effort to speak a lot more and push the envelopes of my comfort zone. The results were really good, plus it made me realize that ego has no place in anything, especially suppressing natural language acquisition and opportunities to take risks to improve. My trip to the airport involved a 40 minute conversation with the taxi driver in which I had well over 90% comprehension and was speaking more fluently than before! So, like, worrying was just a hindrance in the path, but also a necessary step.

Also, my friends took me to chanting at Wat Suwan Keree last Saturday night for the "Buddha Day." It was the first time I could read along in the Thai-Pali book successfully! I was happy with this milestone.

Not Random Connections: Shiva
I ended-up renting a room in a different area of the city than I had stayed in previously called Khlong Saan. It has a ferryboat at Tha Din Deng (I think it means "red earth) pier that goes across the river to the commuter boat pier and Chinatown. Anyways, near the pier, there is a small Shiva shrine at which leaving an offering of a juice or coconut water became a morning routine for me. I found it kind of odd that Shiva was a theme of this trip, from learning that the history of Reusii Datton (Thai yoga) is linked to an ancient Shiva temple in NE Thailand, to buying a small statue of Shiva at the vegetarian restaurant near my place in Chiang Mai, to this shrine that just happened to be there. But...it doesn't end there.

A few days ago, I went back to a small, cluttered shop in a maze of markets in the Little India section of Bangkok. I had been there a few days earlier, but wanted to head back to look again. As I perused the wares, I started talking to the owner who was surprised I could speak Thai and her friend (who also spoke English really well, despite never having had the opportunity to study it abroad...she was impressive, to say the least). We ended up talking for over 3 hours, which was helped a bit by the pouring rain outside for much of that time. It was just great to sit and talk. The owner was glad that we could speak, since she only spoke a little bit of English. The entire time, there was a repetitive Indian song playing in the background, which, I gradually realized, was Shiva chanting. Also, the main altar that the owner had was...Shiva. Coincidence? I think not. I made two really nice new friends that day because of this energy.

The day after that, I made more new friends in a similar Shiva-related episode. I had gone to the area near the Hindu temple, where I used to stay, to eat. After finishing my meal, I talked briefly to a lady that was randomly sitting with me, as there were only a few tables on the sidewalk. After that, I went to pay respects in the temple. After going to the Shiva shrine, I felt compelled to go back to the restaurant to say goodbye to the owner. She asked me to sit with another lady who was maybe in her 50s who wanted to talk to me about eating J-food (the Thai vegan way). She was very nice and told me some of her friends who also ate that way had a sort of self-run charity a few blocks away and she wanted to introduce me. So, why not?

I went and waited in a small hair salon on a nearby alley talking to one very nice lady named Mui, waiting for the owner to come back from seeing someone who was not well. She and a few other ladies returned and were definitely surprised to find me there, but were some of the most gracious and generous people I have ever met. They told me a lot about why they eat J-food and how it benefits the world and all beings. I understood a lot, with the ladies taking turns explaining and clarifying. Then, they invited me to stay for lunch! Needless to say, it was delicious beyond words, they even had a realistic-looking fake fried egg made from tofu and soy beans. Even though my giant, non-Thai body broke the small plastic stool I was sitting on, it was still an amazing time. They sent me on my way with a few books, fruit, several bottled waters and an invitation to visit and travel in Thailand with them next year! Again, this adventure was not random, positive energy was working to make these connections.

Not Random Connections: Laika
A few nights ago, I was walking in Chinatown thinking about all the stories I have been writing about Laika. I had just seen a few happy-go-lucky street dogs, so, of course, she was on my mind. Not a few moments later, I came across a very large sign for a business called Laika Imports & Exports. I, of course, took a photo immediately (and sent it to my parents). Given the other happenings on this trip, I wasn't necessarily surprised, but seeing the ad mostly written in English with a bit of Thai was definitely not normal for the area. So, it was a sign (this is a pun) that her spirit is, indeed, following me still. Next time, if the business is still there, I will see what they sell. I suspect they deal in peanut butter and broken dog toys!

English Teaching
I had the opportunity to teach novice monks again this time. My friend the Professor took me. It was fun, but more like English mixed with Thai, which helped the students get a bit more involved. The school seems like a good place, but has very little structure. The second time, none of the students even came to their regularly scheduled chemistry class that I was supposed to help with. According to the Professor, this is pretty common. Still, I was able to help her do some editing on some English translations of science project abstracts. Next time, I would like to teach again, as the context and characters involved is always interesting.

Massages
I ended the trip on a strong note with near-daily massages from my friend who works at the famous Wat Pho school. It was helpful to know that my back and stomach pains are a result of my legs taking too much abuse. She taught me a lot about massage techniques and general health procedures of Thai medicine. I am glad that I was able to go so frequently, especially because these were good opportunities for both healing and improving my speaking and listening skills, too!

"Banana"
One of the Professor's previous students named Gluai, (which means "banana"), who I met last year, is graduating university soon with a BS in Chemistry. Instead of getting a job directly, he will be going to the USA for a 1-year volunteer internship teaching Thai language at a Thai temple near Philadelphia. He is very exited and wanted to spend time practicing English, so he took me on a motorbike tour of his university, a really impressive temple and to eat dinner one night. He basically taught himself English, and the results are really impressive. It was great to spend time with him and it actually helped me with my Thai speaking, too. His enthusiasm and very considerate ways made it really great to spend time together, too. We are already planning to meet after he comes here next year!

To be continued...

ไปเที่ยวที่กรุงเทพมา

ขอโทษมากที่แอนดี้ไม่ได้เขียนเกียวกับเดินทางมานานมากแล้วครับ แต่ว่าทุกวันอยู่ที่กรุงเทพผมยุ่งจัง ไม่ไช่ยุ่งจริงๆ ยุางไปเที่ยวและไปหาเพื่อนด้วย 555 บ้างวันผมไปชมวัดและไปนวดที่วัดโพรติ์เท่านั้น ร่างกายผมแข็งโดยเฉพาะขาและหลังด้วย มอนวดบอกว่าเพราะแอนดี้ไปเดินและวิ่งไกลมากทุกวัน ผมเห็นด้วย ต้องกลับบ้านผมจะไม่ไปวิ่งไกลและฝึกมวดไทยบ่วย คิดว่าจะฝึกฤษีดัดตนและเล่นโยคะแทน อย่างนี้ดีกว่า ก็อยากให้นิ้วหายเร็วๆนี้ด้วย

นอกจากไปเที่ยวคนเดียวเพื่อนๆพาแอนดี้ไปเที่ยว อาจารย์พาผมไปสอนภาษาอังกฤษให้สามเณรสองครั้งมา ครั้งแรกสนุกดี ครั้งที่สองเณรไม่มาเรียน ตลกมากๆ เราไปทานข้าวด้วยกันมาแทน กล้วยก็พาแอนดี้ไปชมวัดปากน้ำและไปหามหาวิทยาลัยของเขามา เราก็คุยกันนานมานเพราะว่าเขาจะไปสองภาษาไทยที่อเมริกาปีหน้า ไปเที่ยวกับเขาสนุกดีมาก เขาเป็นคนที่ดีจริงๆ วันเสาร์ที่ผ่านมาแอนดี้ไปสวดนมต์ที่วัดกับอาจารย์และกล้วย ชอบมาก ปีนี้อ่านตามหนังสือสวดมนต์ให้สำเร็จได้ ดีมากๆ

วันอาทิตย์ที่แล้วพัทพาแอนดี้ไปตลาด JJ มา สนุกแต่ไม่ได้ซื้ออะไรที่โน่น หลังจากนั้นเราไปซื้อของที่ MBK มา แอนดี้ซื้อของฝากเยอะมากให้ครอบครัวและเพื่อนด้วย MBK ก็มีอาหารเจที่อร่อยและถูกในห้องอาหาร ไปเที่ยวกับพัทสนุกดี

เปิ้นก็พาแอนดี้ไปซื้อของมาด้วย เราไปทานข้าวแถว BTS สยามที่ร้านอาหารเจที่อร่อยแต่แพงนิดน้อย หลังจากนั้นเราไปเดินเล่นในห้าง Siam Center มา สนุกมากๆ เพราะว่าแอนดี้ได้ไปดมเทียนเยอะมาก ทำให้ผมรู้สึกเหมือนไลก้า 555 เราก็ได้ไปไหว้พราะที่ศาลท้าวมหาพรหมด้วย ชอบไปฝังคนตรีและดูรำที่โน่นมากๆ ดีใจที่ได้ไปเที่ยวด้วยกับเพือนๆ

ที่กรุงเทพผมก็ได้รู้จักเพื่อนๆใหม่ครับ สางวันที่แล้วแอนดี้ได้ไปซื้อของที่ร้านฮินดูแถวอินเดียเอ็มโพเรี่ยม ไปซื้อของที่โน่นมาก่อน อยากไปซื้อของฝากให้เพื่อนและตัวเอง เจ้าของเป็นคนไทยแต่นับถือศาสนาฮินดู ร้านไม่ใหญ่แต่มีของที่สวยเยอะมาก แอนดี้ได้ซื้อผ้าพันคอและเสื้อหลายตัว ตอนซื้อของอยู่คุยกับเจ้าของและผู้หญิงอีกหนึ่งคนด้วย เขาพูดภาษาอังกฤษเก่งมากแต่ไม่เคยอยู่นอกเมืองไทย แอนดี้ประทับใจมากๆ เพราะว่าเจ้าของพูดภาษาไทยเท่านั้นเลยเราพูดแต่ภาษาไทย สนุกดีมาก พวกเขาเป็นคนใจดีมาก เราได้คุยกันสามชั่วโมงกว่า (เพราะฝนได้ตกหนักมาก) เจ้าของก็ให้ของฝากกับแอนดี้ โชกดีมาก ผมดีใจมากที่เจอผู้หญิงสองคนนี้ครับ

สองวันที่แล้วแอนดี้ก็โชคดีมากครับ หลังจากได้ทานข้าวเสร็จที่ร้านอาหารเจและไปใหว้พระที่วัดแขก แอนดี้กลับไปคุยกับเจ้าของร้านอาหารเจ ที่โน่าก็เจอหญิงหนึ่งคนที่อายุมากกว่าแอนดี้ประณาน 20 ปี เขาก็กินเจตลอดเวลา หลังจากได้คุยกันมากกล่า 10 นาทีเขาพาแน่นำแอนดี้ให้เพื่อนคนอื่นที่อยู่แถวร้านและกินเจด้วย เราไปได้เจอกันเพื่อนที่ร้านตัดผมและแอนดี้อยู่คุยกับพวกเขานานมาก เพื่อนเขาทุกคนใจดีมากๆ พวกเขาอธิบายการกินเจให้แอนดี้ฝัง หลังจากนั้นผู้หญิงหนึ่งคนทำกับเขาเจที่อร่อยมาก มีไข่เจที่ทำจากถั่งเหลืองด้อย ไม่เคยเห็นหรือชิม ตอนแอนดี้ออกไปพวกเขาชวนผมมาหาอีกปีหน้า แอนดี้จะไปแน่นอน ตื่นเต้นมากแล้วที่ไปเที่ยวเมืองไทยอีก เพาระว่าตอนนี้มาเพื่อนหลายคนที่ทุกที่ครับ

Story 106: Blinkers

I am in the Taipei airport on my return trip from Thailand, I am not sure what day it is but I am going to post this story now and hopefully another on the next flight or in LA as wi-fi permits. I have a bunch of ideas that I won't get to fit into the 108 tales, which is obviously a testament to the many very memorable years shared with Laika. Today's story involves Laika and her old pal Heisa.

Laika and Heisa were partners in crime, they were also kind of an accidental comedy duo as well. One of their best acts was dubbed "blinkers" by Elaina and I. Whenever something exciting was happening, both pup became blurs of tail wagging. Since both had substantial whip-action, this could present a bit of a problem as they jockeyed for position to be closer to treats or the opening door or a desired toy, etc. Their solution: whichever was in the rear wouldn't didn't do anything to avoid the other's tail except to blink really hard when it came close to their face. A simple solution; a hilarious solution.

Elaina and I would laugh endlessly at their dopey blinking, which usually occurred just beyond the reach of the offending tail. I came up with a pretty good impression that, while amusing, paled in comparison to real deal. Laika continued this practice long after Elaina and Heisa moved out, too. If she was nearby while I was jumping rope, she would position herself millimeters beyond the reach of the rope, laying on the ground and blinking along with the rhythm of its swinging. It was almost hard to keep from laughing at her mix of leisure and extreme concentration.

Just thinking about this is still really hilarious. It was a very special skill that Laika and Heisa shared. It was also one of the subtle quirks that made taking care of Laika endlessly entertaining.

Story 105: Broken Nail

To switch gears a little bit with a story from Laika's youth, this one is memorable for both my naivete in expectations from vet-related technology and the inspiration to get insurance. It was also a first in the long line of Laika's accident prone ways.

After fully taking respondibilty of Laika's care, she was, of course, a wild ball of energy. She got a clean bill of health during her first check-up, which was great. It didn't seem too expensive, either, which was good, too. However, a few days later, her overzealousness led to an accident which brought us back to the vet pretty quickly.

Laika was running away from Ramona into Missy's house (presumably after doing something to annoy her),  when she slipped and skidded into the concrete stoop near the backdoor! A small bit of whimpering and shrieking sent Missy and I into alarm, but it subsided quickly with Big Baby happy to get the attention while we inspected her. She had only broken her nail on one of the front paws, which was a relief. However, there was a jagged bit still sticking out. It wasn't bleeding, so I made a vet appointment for the next day. They suggested that I keep it covered, which, in hindsight, was the first of too many failed attempts to wrap an injured part of Laika's body. The wrap was made from a few old socks taped to keep them in place. I thought it was well-done. It lasted about 3 minutes before she decided to rip it off. So, no wrap.

The next morning, we went to the vet. I figured there was going to be some high-tech nail remover. As it turns out, I was far from correct. Instead, it was just a set of pliers used to extract the rest of the nail, Three Stooges-style! I felt horrible for Laika. To make things worse, they were short on vet techs that day, so I had to help restrain her during the quick, uncomfortable operation. I told the vet I would hold Laika from the side, but I didn't want her to see me involved or associate me with the procedure. I hugged her tightly as the vet pulled the nail out, but Laika still shrieked very loudly. I felt terrible, but it needed to be done to prevent infection. In true Laika fashion, she recovered immediately as the treats were administered, tail wagging at top speed. I was as relieved as her, I think.

Given the cost of the extraction by pliers, I figured if actual technology or advanced treatments were involved then it would be way more expensive. I wanted a happy and healthy pup, but if treatments were needed I also wanted to be able to have help paying. The broken nail led to the seed of getting insurance being planted. In some ways, it was a silver lining to a painful ordeal for Laika.

Story 104: The Too Happy Heavy

So, it took me 104 days to miss the regularly scheduled posting. Kind of a bummer, but no one is perfect, right? I started packing this morning for my return trip early Thursday morning (Thailand time). Then I had things to do and random people to meet. So, to make up for it, I will post one story before I go to sleep and one when I wake up!

Today's first story involves Laika flexing the wrong muscles when she needed to be an intimidating "heavy." Those muscles being the ones that controlled her wagging tail and goofy smile. Without any further ado, here is today's first installment...

Our old house had a yard. The neighboring houses did as well. These required many different implements to keep the growing things from going wild. Some of the residents kept these locked in basements or under porches, others just left them on their back porch secured only by their faith in the honesty of other human beings. One morning, this latter plan nearly backfired.

I had just come in from a run and was looking out the back door before letting Laika out, when I noticed someone shuffling around the alley behind the houses, looking for something. The alley was usually busy with foot traffic around 7-8 am, so I didn't think anything of it until the guy was acting very suspiciously, basically peeping around fences and bushes like a cartoon robber. He then brazenly stumbled onto my neighbor's back porch, took their weed whacker and proceeded to make a slow-speed getaway while looking shiftily around him. I noted what was happening to Elaina, who was also in the kitchen and she suggested that something be done about it.

So, I decided to spring into action to save the yard equipment (which I sometimes borrowed). Before exiting the backdoor, I thought it might be good to bring some muscle with me, so I put Laika's leash on her and away we went. She was really excited to be running, especially since the speed was faster than usual. I saw the thief turn the corner in the alley as Laika and I closed the distance. When we caught up with him, he tried to half-heartedly "hide" really obviously next to a parked car. I wanted to laugh when I saw him, but this was serious business!

Laika didn't get the memo, though. She just sat next to me smiling and wagging her tail as the very drunk robber stood there awkwardly clutching the weed whacker. I tried to covertly tell Laika to stop being happy, but it didn't work. She was so stoked to be part of the "game" and would not lower her excitement level. However, just her presence was enough to rattle the would-be thief. This led to an ever weirder ending to the episode.

The man immediately apologized for stealing the weed whacker. Instead of leaving it at that, he asked me for a hug, and before I could say "no" he had overcome his fear of Laika and was hugging me while profusely apologizing. My only reaction was to have him promise not to do it again, to which he drunkenly agreed. As could be guessed, this whole scene only made Laika more excited. The man quickly wandered off after handing back the stolen goods and Big Baby proudly led the way home, tail still flailing wildly.

I told Elaina about Laika's intimidation methods and she thought it was hilarious. It was an adventure that highlights Laika's joy of doing just about anything. I was glad she was with me, though, because she could be a protector, as had been proven before.

So...about the weed whacker...I emailed my neighbor (because they were at work) and told them the story and that I was keeping it in safe basement for them to get later that evening. They came to get it, thanked me and then put it right back on their porch! Yes, they just put it back outside! The story doesn't end there, though. Several years later when they were in the process of moving, they let me borrow the weed whacker and...it broke completely the only time I used it. Yes, I was the responsible party for its demise. My neighbor asked for me to pay for it, then, presumably after remembering my harrowing tale of stopping its abduction, changed their mind. So, in some ways Laika helped me save about $25 with her part in this whole caper!

Story 103: Spiderman Walk

Laika was one giant muscle. She was known to be a bit too strong for her own good at times, especially when walking on leash. This led to some epic tug-of-wars early on in our attempts at taking leisurely walks. These weren't done to control her just to make her a good citizen, but to keep her her safe from bolting into the street or worse. As we finally got our routine and training together, Laika was much less of a powerhouse on leash, but there were times where she got incensed and needed to follow the bad smells like a bloodhound!

In times like these, she developed a stance that challenged both the strength of the harness and the my balance. Laika learned to use her low center of gravity to gain a pretty huge advantage in the leash battle. She got so low, with all four paws spread out, that she looked like a spider scaling a wall! Combined with her nose going a mile a minute with her head tracing the trail of whatever tickled her fancy, she resembled some sort of cartoon character. Needless to say, it was hilarious. Elaina noted that it was Laika's "Spiderman walk," which was a perfect description of it.

This special walk was, thankfully, not displayed very often. However, when Laika turned into a crawling superhero, it did sometimes require me leaning backwards a little bit, just to keep from being pulled-over! All in all, Big Baby's spider walk was a clear symbol of her cleverness, strength and ability to make everyone wonder if she did actually have superpowers!

Story 102: Mystery Cough

When I was a kid, I remember feeling sick sometimes but when my parents took me to the doctor my symptoms mysteriously disappeared. As a dog dad, this didn't happen too often except during the last year. The episode of the mystery cough, which thankfully happened only once, was pretty epic, I would say.

During Laika's break from chemo to clear up her allergy issues, she needed to have an endoscopy to figure out if the cancer or treatments were detrimental to her belly. It turns out that it was just food allergies, but they were still pretty brutal. A full-on change of diet was necessary, which helped her immediately. However, a few days after the test, Laika developed a very troubling, constant cough. It kept us both up at night, even.

So, a trip to the emergency vet was necessary. I thought it might be an irritation from the scope, but wanted to make sure. Given that it was a Saturday afternoon, the whole place was mobbed, so after Laika's initial exam we waited in a private room for several hours. The entire time, Laika did not cough one time. In fact, she seemed quite chipper and wanted to sit on my lap or parade around the room like nothing was wrong. She even got really excited upon hearing one of her favorite oncology techs talking in the hallway.

The vet who saw us was very nice and noted that Laika was not actively coughing, but was exhibiting a lower than normal blood-oxygen level. It was suggested that she stay for observation overnight. I agreed and went back later to bring food and treats for Laika (and the vet staff). Laika was so excited to see me and wanted to go home. She pulled-out her oxygen tube about 3 times, at least. It was good to see her so feisty, but also sad because the oxygen tubes were loosely sutured to her nose! I had no idea, but like usual, she didn't seem to care.

The next day, I was informed that Laika was ready to come home, but she still had not coughed for anyone there. So, I picked up the tired pup and she snoozed the whole way home and went into a deep sleep as soon as we arrived...only to wake up an hour later with the hacking, persistent cough! I immediately called the emergency vet and they told me to bring her back. I secretly think that they thought I was lying!

On the way there, she stopped coughing! Luckily, when the tech was examining her, she let loose a flurry of hacking. At last, someone heard it! I felt vindicated. The same vet then saw Laika, but with no more coughing. At least the tech could vouch for it! So, it was determined that Laika had either and infection or kennel cough from her time during the procedure earlier that week. Sad, indeed, but mystery solved and illness addressed!

Everyone there thought it was hilarious that Laika hid the cough so successfully. The great actress was better in no time, which was a great relief to everyone!

Story 101: The Fearful Noise

Laika's dislike of loud noises has already been discussed at length. However, there was one noise that created such a textbook look of surprise and fear that she could have easily been cast as a bit actor in any number of Halloween movies. Like jinkees, I just realized that her face resembled Scooby Doo's reaction in pretty much every episode! Luckily, the fear would pass pretty quickly, as she would usually realize what was making the noise.

My previous house was not haunted, as far as I know...though I may or may not have seen a floating ghost in my room one time. Still, given that I kept my bedroom door and windows open most of the time, there was always a chance that some invisible force (most likely wind) would slowly shut the door with a low, eerie creaking noise. Upon hear this, Laika would stop whatever she was doing perk her ears up and open her eyes as wide as possible. This was usually accompanied by some of her hair standing on end and a shiver or two passing through her body. If I was around, she would move to sit directly on me or run downstairs, with her tail wagging as soon as the reaction passed. I am not sure what she would do if I was away, but I assume she would just go downstairs.

It was always sad to see her afraid of this noise, but as she recovered quickly I was able to laugh about it. Every time it happened, I would picture her in a scary movie with the suspense slowly building to a soundtrack of creaking doors and faint piano music. Needless to say, I wish I had a video of her reaction. But, the replays in my mind are good enough to recall her excellent acting skills that few knew about but me!

Story 100: The Short Welcome Home

Yesterday, I talked to one of my friends here in Bangkok for the first time in months. She had previously lived in Pittsburgh and was quite a fan of Laika, and vice versa. She was obviously really sad about the news of Laika's passing and so was I while telling her. It got me thinking about going back to Pittsburgh to a Laika-less greeting, which was usually the best, though shortest, part of readjusting to "normal" life.

During the time I took care of Big Baby, I had been on tour or in Thailand for about 5 months, spread over 10 years. So, not a long time, but since it was usually a whole month at a time, Laika was able to get a vacation out of it, too. According to her caretakers, especially Chris and Steph who lovingly took her into their pack of misfit brindle pitbull mixes, she never really seemed to miss me...meaning, she was very comfortable in her surroundings and didn't get freaked-out that I was gone. Though a creature of routine, she was very adaptable when attention, love and treats were involved!

Since her part of the vacation usually involved spending a lot of time with other pups, it also meant a lot of playing and not as much time to herself. So, when I came home from my part of the vacation, she would not only be excited to see me, but she would also be ready to go back to her life as the Queen of the house! As such, when we would reunite, it would be short and sweet. Usually, her tail would start wagging at propeller-like velocities, her eyes wide almost in disbelief that I was there. This was reciprocated, of course, because being without my constant companion during my trips left a void, despite being so far away from her.

After several minutes of parading, wiggling and trying to steal kisses, Laika would usually just crash next to me on the couch, snoring loudly and contently almost immediately. All of this would take less than 5 minutes! The first time she did this, I was confused, but each subsequent time I realized that it was her way of settling back into the routine of being together and letting me know that she missed me without showing it to my friends who took care of her.

Not sure how it will feel to return this time. Without her waiting, I am more or less being greeted by an empty room in my house. Still, just thinking of her warm, short and sweet greetings is enough to bring a smile to my face, even though it will never happen again.

Story 99: Reckless Runner

I have already told a few stories about Laika becoming a wrecking ball at the dog park. This story, however, takes place in my old apartment, when she would recklessly tear up and down the hallway as if it were a runway and she was cleared for takeoff! Combined with the after bath crazies, this could be devastating for me.

At some point in time, we developed a game that I dubbed "dog goalie" in which I would try to block Laika from passing me in the hallway. This wasn't done with force, just body position, and it also involved massaging and rubbing her as she would squeeze past me against the wall. Needless to say, it was one of her early favorite pastimes. She would smile and wiggle and emit joyous growls constantly while playing. Also, she always won.

However, one side effect was that she would sometimes dash down the hall if she thought it was "game on," even if that wasn't the case. One such time, I was minding my own business when she decided it was time to play. I heard a loud scampering sound of paws on carpet and suddenly wham I was laying on the floor with some mild shin pain and a wiggling puppy proudly licking my face. I was laughing, but definitely had been steam-rolled by the reckless runner! In case you were wondering, Laika had a pretty hard head!

Although "dog goalie" continued to be played, it added a new element of danger to being in the hallway, which was kind of fun! In fact, sometimes gymnastic feats of avoidance were necessary to jump over Laika's enthusiastic charging. These involved using hands and feet pressed against the walls to suspend myself over the runway! What fun! As she got older, the wildness curtailed, but we would still sometimes tear around the second floor of the old house (after we moved)...I would be chasing her, though. It was still great exercise and less pain for my shins!

Story 98: Insured Hound

With these endless tales of Laika's treatments, I think this might be a good time to send some love to the PetPlan Insurance company for always being there for us. After Laika's youthful stint as a stunt dog, I made the decision to get insurance for her. Eleven years and nearly 100 stories later, I can say with confidence that it was one of the best decisions of my life. Not only did they provide financial support but also peace of mind in even the seemingly darkest times.

Taking care of Laika was a lot of responsibility. As soon as she entered my life, everything changed: my routine, my attitude, my outlook. I wanted to be able to help her have the best life possible, especially since she was abandoned as a pup. In order to do this, I became an adult, financially. I got a credit card just in case and took a few weeks of choosing the right insurance for Big Baby (this was a longer, more insightful process than choosing my own). The company that encouraged actual human contact won! And, so did we.

Laika was a special dog that, sadly, ended up with special needs. Given the hand we were dealt, not having to worry too much about the money was a complete blessing. Granted, I still sold almost all of my records and worked a second job to make ends meet, but without being part of the PetPlan family Laika would have had less time to enjoy the finer things in life, like, well, almost all of the previous 97 stories. Without this support, I also wouldn't have been blessed with the many wonderful years I was able to share and grow with Laika.

หายตัวเองกับตัวอื่นด้วย: Self-Healing & Healing Others Together

ช่วงนี้แอนดี้ไปนวดทุกวันครับ ที่อเมริกาไปแบบนี้เพาระว่าแพงมากๆ น่าสงสารจริงจัง ทุกครั้งผมไปนวดร่างกายและจิตใจรู้สึกดีขึ้นด้วย คิดว่าเป็นวิธีการหายที่ดีที่สุดครับ

อาทีตย์ที่แล้วแอนดี้ได้คุยกับคนอเมริกาที่เป็นหมอนวดที่โน่น เขาเคยเป็นนักกีฮาแต่เลิกเพราะว่าร่างกายเขาปวดตลอดเวลา เขาต้องไปนวดเพื่อดีขึ้น หลังจากนั้นเขารู้ตัวว่าเขาอยากกลายเป็นหมอนวด เพราะว่าอยากช้วยคนอื่นที่ไม่สบายครับ เขาก็บอกว่านวดคนอื่นหายตัวเองด้วย

ตอนนี้แอนดี้เห็นด้วยจริงๆ ผมคิดว่าหมอนวดหลายคนที่เมืองไทยมีความสุขและสุขภาพแข็งแรงเพราะว่าพวกเขาช่วยคนอื่นตลอดเวลา ผมก็อยากเรียนนวดและการแพทย์สมุนไพรเพื่อหายตัวเองกับตัวอื่นด้วย อย่างนี้ที่ดีที่สุดให้ผมรับใช้พระเจ้าที่อยู่ในจิตใจทุกสิ่งมีชีวิต

For some reason I didn't get any massages the first first week I was here. Gradually, I started getting more and more. I have been getting one everyday for the past week and, well, I feel great. Combined with the Ruesii Datton (Thai yoga), I feel like my body is finally getting less stiff in general. Granted, this will be a long process, but as a runner and Muay Thai practitioner, I am finally realizing the error of too much hard exercise/training. Joi, my massage doctor here, has been amazing and taught me, sometimes without words, the extent of healing through massage.

Last week, I talked to an American massage therapist at the Muay Thai gym who used to be a college football player. He suffered some injuries and when his pro career didn't work out, he turned his efforts to helping others through massage, as he had been helped before. He noted that through these practices of healing others, his own body started to heal through the massage work. This was echoed by my friend Aya who has been a massage therapist in Japan and elsewhere for over 7 years. Massage is a dual healing process that uses energy to balance and heal both the practitioner and the receiver.

I can vouch for this. It was always in front of my face when receiving Thai massages here, but I couldn't place the exact feeling. The connection is not just physical, the channels of healing are deeper and more subtle. The energy and intention of the massage doctor guides and supports not only my healing, but also their own. There is a hidden quality in a good massage that exists beyond merely the physical realm. Additionally, there are qualities beyond knowledge of body mechanics and medical systems that special therapists are able to effectively utilize to heal the mind and spirit as well.

Realizing this has opened my eyes to the possibilities of massage and herbal medicine as a platform for spiritual service. All living beings feel pain and pleasure, but in physical and mental distress usually turn to the help of doctors. Being human is to relate to this pain; taking it a step further can inspire working to serve both others and the innate Self in alleviating it. This is why I want to return to study the Thai arts of healing.

At the beginning of each massage, the therapist prays to invoke the guidance of Jivaka, the doctor of the Buddha and patron saint of Thai medicine. Such a simple meditation for goodwill of the patient and the doctor also works to sublimate the ego of the practitioner while inviting a deeper exchange of healing and true loving-kindness. My recent experiences and knowledge received from others, has proven that well-being is a two-way practice...and it is time for me to learn the skills to give back in a meaningful and compassionate way. What better way to give to live?

Story 97: Back Scratcher

Laika did really well in the hospital. Two days later, she seemed like nothing had happened. One if her greatest qualities was that her joy of the simple things in life gave her strength and resilience to recover quickly without missing a step. But, this wasn't always a positive thing.

The Monday morning after her relaxing homecoming, she was due for a checkup. She started the morning by trying to chase a flightless fledgling bird in the backyard, which I was able to usher under the fence to avoid any mishap. The spark in Laika's eye had returned!

Her appointment went well. I was told that her back was healing and she should continue with the topical herbs and the antibiotics and herbs with her food to help with the slight infection on the surface of her tumor. We returned home pretty quickly, which was nice as I was able to go to work earlier than planned. Before leaving, I noticed that they had wrapped Laika's back a bit differently than usual, but considering their professional expertise, I didn't think much more of it.

As usual, I came home during the day to check on Laika. She was still getting used to the new house and didn't yet have a set routine, so she was fast asleep upstairs when I opened the door. There was a slight odor in the house, but it was hard to place what it was immediately. As soon as Big Baby woke up and cavorted down to greet me, I knew what it was...blood! While I was gone, her bandage had parted to give her a clear path for directly scratching the irritated center of tumor...and she had scratched out the infection all over the freshly painted living room wall and new curtains my mom had made for the house!

It looked like a horror scene, honestly. I didn't see it at first because of the placement in the room. Despite her bloody back and bandages, Laika paraded around, happy to see me. After examining her quickly to make sure the bleeding had stopped, I covered her in a shirt and put her in the backyard. Only, she wasn't alone there. The nosey baby bird had returned and a clash with it and Laika was imminent. Luckily, I had a lot of latex gloves around and put one on to pick up the bird and move it out of harm's way. As soon as I gently lifted it, it started screaming and pooping simultaneously! To make matters worse, the mother bird was in the area and responded with a semi-divebomb attempt to protect her baby. Laika watched intently as I deposited the baby bird safely out of the yard, while fearing for another protective strike from the mother. Never a dull moment, right?

Next, I called in the calvary (a.k.a. Mom). She arrived quickly with more cleaning agents and elbow grease. Together, we scrubbed the wall, chair and all surfaces that had been stained during Laika's back scratching frenzy for over an hour. It was nice to have help again, because, well, it had been a long week of cleaning up after a bloody hound (not the British use of the term), who was lounging happily in the backyard all during the cleanup.

Finally, I cleaned and rewrapped Laika's wound and called the vet. They were, of course, unfazed, but still asked if I needed to bring Laika in to be seen. I assured them that she was ok, and had actually removed the entire area of infection by her scratching. It was some type of self-care, I think. She knew what needed to be done, but could have been more patient! I did however request some meds to help Laika relax a bit, just to get over the hump for the healing. I only gave her less than half a dose for a few days, but they were very effective. The tumor, therefore, healed pretty quickly throughout the week under my constant supervision and care. Still, it was recommended that she start the silver ointment the following visit to help heal it even more, which of course led to slippery gauze for the story of a few days ago.

As luck would have it, this episode of having a freshly cleaned house after the bloody wall coincided with the first time I met my new landlord, who was working a few houses away on another of his properties. We had rented through a management company, so I hadn't met him before. Laika was happy to make a new friend. I was happy he didn't show up two hours earlier!

Story 96: Bloody Surprise

Leading up to Laika's use of silver ointment to help heal her back, she had two scary episodes within a span of days. The first landed her in the hospital for two nights. The second was able to be controlled until the following weekly treatment. Today, we will address the first episode.

The thing about mast cell tumors is that they are quite unpredictable. Sometimes they look great; other times they change size or bleed. It was a vicious cycle that Laika was able to manage with her attitude, strength, and support team. She was a cancer fighting rockstar according to the vets and techs who were constantly with her. While having chemo, she would have good and bad weeks.

One day, I came home from work to find a large pile of diarrhea in the house. Apparently, Laika's tumor was degranulating and irritatating her tummy. I put her in the backyard, as we had just moved to the new house and she liked it out there. It was good for when I had to clean. She seemed to be feeling ok, but I had noticed a few drops of blood near her accident. I thought it might have been from her rear, but upon checking on Laika again, her shirt was wet...soaked...completely with blood! And, she was surrounded by little bloody paw prints on the porch. She must've started scratching at the irritated tumor and it kept bleeding. In fact, her whole right side was covered from nose to tail with blood from her rear paw scratching everything!

She didn't seem bothered, but it was shocking. I immediately took off her shirt. As I wiped the blood off, some of her tumor skin was also coming off. It was unsettling, but we had been through worse, so it wasn't freaking me out much. I quickly cleaned the area, covered it with herbs to clot the bleeding, and wrapped her back with gauze, a boxing hand wrap and tape. Meanwhile, she was oblivious to the bleeding and just huffed and puffed because she was hungry! Typical Laika!

Being that I had just moved, I had no paper towel. So, Mom to the rescue. One call and help/moral support was on the way. Meanwhile, I gave Laika food and water outside as I did my best to control the damage inside. When help arrived, cleaning solutions and paper towel made it a lot easier.

I had called Laika's oncologist and was told to bring her in later that day because of the bleeding. They gave her a herbal pill that stopped the bleeding immediately. Then they kept her overnight for observation. The whole time she was acting normally, but the tumor was in full "flush mode" with intermittent bleeding. As I went to pick her up the next afternoon, the bleeding started again, so she was kept overnight again. At least my mom and I got to visit with her. She was so happy to see us. I felt bad leaving her, but it was the best decision.

The next day, which was a Saturday, the tumor had healed. It would require wrapping and extra care (in the form of tons of pills), but Big Baby was happy to be home. I was happy to have her back, too. She was a ball of joy from the time I picked her up until she went to sleep that evening. Despite having to take her to see the vet again in two days for her treatment, everything seemed going in a positive direction.

Story 95: Peroxide Tales - Gauze Swallower

During the last month or so of Laika's battle with cancer, she was in need a lot of care for her tumor. It would sometimes bleed and sometimes ooze. Therefore, with both of us exercising extreme patience, we had to wrap her back twice a day to keep everything clean and covered.

The wrap consisted of a few non-stick gauze pads attached to panty-liners (a genius idea by the vet) and then wrapped in layers of cotton gauze and finally self-clinging bandages. We were doing really well until a few setbacks which required the use of a silver-based ointment to help heal the skin. But, we were up to the task and Laika was a perfect patient for the first few days.

One day, after returning from the vet, I noticed that the gauze from their wrap started to slip out. I didn't think it was a big deal, but as Laika walked around, it moved more and more, until it finally came out...at which point she grabbed it with her mouth and tried to eat it! Luckily, I was around to take it away. She was excited by the contents absorbed by the gauze, no doubt. So, I vowed to wrap it better in the future.

That night, I did what I thought was a great job applying the ointment and then wrapping her as already noted. Things seemed fine the next morning, until I unwrapped her to find the base non-stick pad missing! A frantic search ensued, which was silently observed by a bemused, if not slightly guilty-looking, Laika. Nothing was found, so I assumed the gauze was in the belly of the beast. I called-off work and drove to the store to get peroxide. Laika was not happy to get not one, but two, helpings of her least favorite post-mischief beverage, but I was worried about the gauze in her belly.

However, this time was to no avail. No fireworks, no vomit. Big Baby just sat shaking in the backyard with foamy drool forming at the corners of her mouth for the better part of an hour. I felt terrible the entire time. I didn't want to cause her anymore discomfort than she might already be feeling, but a stomach blockage would not help anything. After a while, I gave her a bit of water which she happily drank. The gauze was obviously not coming out. A call to the vet confirmed that waiting for it to exit via the backdoor was a viable option, especially given the fact that it was a non-stick pad. So, the waiting game began.

Being that I had recently moved, I decided to make the most of my day and go through a bunch of basement stuff to clean-up a bit. Laika watched with curiosity the entire time, as organizing was apparently a novel thing to witness me doing. In these efforts, I actually found Laika's file from when I took her in. As it turned out, she was actually only 11 years old and not 12, as I had been thinking. She took the exciting news with an indifferent tail wag, but it was cool to think she had just gotten younger!

Anyways, the next day the gauze made its return trip. The tall fence between my yard and my neighbors' house obscured any other humans from witnessing my elated fist-pump at the miracle of Laika's body passing the pad, but it was so emphatic that Laika was even excited! I learned my lesson to use the non-stick pads with adhesive, because the silver ointment was the slippery culprit in this whole episode.

Never a dull moment with the Wonder Pup. Which brings us to why she needed the silver ointment in the first place...

Story 94: Peroxide Tales - The Bandage Bandit

Continuing with Laika's eating of the potentially bad and the inedible, we move forward about 5 years from yesterday's tale. I had just discovered the tumor on Laika's ankle and had been wrapping it myself leading up to her surgery. She was wearing her soft cone to prevent licking, or worse, in this case, it was the or worse!

I remember it was a Saturday afternoon and I had to go to work for a few hours. Given that Laika's tumor was cracking a bit, I needed to wrap it daily to prevent it getting worse. She didn't seem to be bothered by it, but since it was oozing, it needed to be covered. I used a bit of gauze, some stretch/self-cling underwrap and a bit of tape. Like always, Laika was patient with me and accepted her treatment. She was not too into the cone, but with Bradley around the house, I figured everything would be chill.

Fast-forward a few hours. I returned home from work just in time to open the back door to see Laika happily munching the remaining shreds of the bandage off of her leg! She had outsmarted the cone and decided it was time to get rid of the bandage! Laika's rules were usually the rules. But, it was time for a peroxide cocktail. Luckily, the weather was nice, so the doggy-cement mixer was able to do her puke performance in the yard.

She looked so sad, but the bandages could be bad for her insides so this was necessary. Since she had just swallowed the bandages, they surfed out on a wave of foam pretty quickly. A few minutes later, Laika was back to her old self, which was good and not-so-good! I rebandaged her and started doing a few things around the house. She followed me to my room and laid on my bed. Since I was around, I didn't put the cone on her. Bad move on my part!

I left my room for about 10 seconds and, again, just came back in time to see her swallowing the bandage again! Yes, again. She didn't care about the impending peroxide, she just wanted it off. So, back to the yard to wait out the puking. Again, she was bummed, but the bandage reappeared in no time. Twice in one afternoon was a new record for Big Baby, but, like, some records are not usually meant to be made! Still, I was glad it came back up, she was not!

This repeat performance led to the use of the hard cone, which was not her favorite, but she adapted. Although the peroxide did work both times, there was one other time that I didn't work as planned...

Story 93: Peroxide Tales - Trail of Trail Mix

Opening the zippered bag to destroy the shruti box was no big deal for Laika. Years before, she had done something similar to help herself to some treats. In that case, though, the outcome also led to a peroxide cocktail and a trip to the vet!

One nice summer day about 7 years ago, I was riding my bike to get lunch and was almost t-boned in an intersection by a driver that had decided to disregard the light that had been red for at least 6 seconds or more. They came to a screeching halt about a foot away from me. Someone in another car asked if I was ok, to which I replied, "Yes, but I just saw my life flash before eyes...and it was so boring." We both laughed and I went on my way, a bit shaken but ok. Laika must've sensed my joke and decided to spice things up a bit with some mischief!

Upon arriving home in the evening, I was greeted by a guilty-looking Laika wagging her tail while trying to conceal an empty bag of trail mix! I quickly surveyed the scene and realized that she had gotten it by unzipping my gym bag and then ripping-off the rubber band to enjoy the crunchy contents. The main problem was that there were also many raisins in the bag, which are potentially toxic for dogs! She was not happy as I fed her some peroxide to toss up her belly contents, a practice we hadn't had to employ for several years.

At first, it didn't seem to help...then she proceeded to shuffle sadly around the house, barfing foamy trail mix blobs on any surface she could get to. I tried to usher her outside, but to no avail. The puke pyrotechnics lasted almost an hour. As soon as they were over, Laika's tail started up again and she made it known that she was hungry. Obviously, back to normal!

Still, I was worried about the raisin intake and possible renal failure from it. Apparently, as I was told by the emergency vet when I called, the reaction is not based on amount eaten and dog weight, so it could be potentially risky even if just one raisin is eaten. So, I took Laika for a test at the vet the next day. $90 and a short wait later, the results were...inconclusive! Laika seemed fine, but I was told to come back again to do the test. I asked if the effects would already be drastic from the consumption if she were to have a problem and the answer was "yes." So, I guess that was money well-spent, without needing another test!

Laika and I both survived our traumatic day and lived to tell about it. Things were not boring, after all. But, there was another peroxide caper that happened s few years ago...

Some Random Reflections

There are some things I've been meaning to write, but just haven't had the time or mental capacity. I am going to try to put down some thoughts here, as the weather is bad tonight so I am staying in. Here goes:

- Meeting other Americans here is actually pretty cool. I feel like the distance from things that are happening there is a great equalizer, since political affiliation means nothing this far from home. I've heard some impassioned and inspiring opinions from people who are currently afforded a way to look in from the outside for a change. Hearing different perspectives is always good, even if I am not always in agreement.

- In the last two days, my Thai speaking and conversation skills have started to increase noticeably to myself and those around me. It is really cool and I can attribute it mostly to my friends' constant support and corrections and pretty much every person I meet helping me correct my errors in constructive ways. It has been a great feeling to connect with both native speakers and learners like myself, who have been wonderful teachers as well.

- Living healthy here seems like it is more affordable for the average person. In America, things like massages or "alternative" health treatments, like acupuncture or herbal medicine, are definitely on the luxury end of spectrum. Here, that doesn't seem to be the case. The many levels and qualities of massage shops/schools here tend to have a fair amount of local patronage. Certainly, such treatments are cheaper for most foreigners here than in their home countries, but Thai people value these healing methods as part of their everyday regimen. I wish this were possible at home. My body feels amazing after being able to get several massages a week.

- I was pretty excited to be able to go to the Hindu temple here until last week. This one man is there everyday and he is pretty nice. He invited me to the chanting/aarti last Tuesday evening and said there would be food that I could eat. I was sold. I like attending these events back home, so I figured it would be similar. The music was good, but there wasn't a chanting book or anything, so participation was hard. There were, however, a pretty good mix of people, including locals, other Americans and a large group of Japanese people who had been studying at the massage school where I went.

I am glad I went, as it was interesting to experience the ceremony. Plus, the assistant to the pandit who played the tabla and sang was very talented. One song in particular was very moving on all levels, I almost didn't want it to end. However, a few things made me a little uncomfortable. First, a good portion of the non-chanting part was just a reading of how much was donated by each attendee that evening (I donated anonymously in the box before the ceremony). This just got me thinking about the basic idea of ego and how my understanding of most of the Hindu teachings is that personal accolades for pious acts kind of defeats the purpose. Maybe I don't fully understand what it was for, but I clearly understood the person presenting speaking Thai and just thought it was kind of self-congratulatory, especially given the venue and meaning of the ceremony.

In addition, during that part a few of the Japanese men were speaking to each other in an audible, but not distracting way. The guy presenting with the microphone stopped speaking Thai to basically berate them in English, then said something kind of similar in Thai afterwards. I wanted to leave at that point, but figured it was almost over so I stayed. Given the fact that other people there were talking on their phones at various points, I found this reaction to be unnecessary and completely inappropriate, plus I felt bad for the two guys being treated like they were naughty children. Why open a temple to all if, during a ceremony to celebrate universal love and consciousness, distractions can't be handled in a positive or even non-condescending manner? On the way out, I talked to the speaker about something and he seemed nice. However, his tone during the scolding was anything but welcoming.

Finally, there was no food for me eat. Everything either had tons of onions, garlic or dairy...or all three. I drank a few waters and told the guy who invited me that I was full. Not really a bummer, because I expected this to be the case. Still, I did not go back this week and won't go again to the ceremony while I'm here. I plan to go tomorrow morning to the temple, though. Then again, I've been saying that for the last week.

- On my massive run up the mountain the other day, I had a lot of time to just breathe and think and experience and come to some realizations. Most important of all, I felt like the entire exercise wasn't for myself, in the body-centered sense. Certainly, it was physically taxing, but that wasn't the point. The point was to start running and see how I felt at the top...so in hindsight see if the path was more important than the temporary goal. I can safely say that it was. The view from the top was ok, but the motivation and inspiration that was within, but not part of my body, was what stuck with me most. At points, I didn't feel like the "doer;" I felt more like a vessel for the action, but the power came from somewhere else. Pain wasn't an issue and neither was doubt, but more of an unchanging belief that each step was completed how it should be. The goal wasn't the temple, the goal is still somewhere ahead. This was simply an awareness exercise to try to see how soul, mind and body interact. Chanting and breathing were aids along the way, just as they are in each day in meditation. So, it's no surprise that I returned from the 14 miles feeling both rejuvenated and mentally focused.

- I have started getting massages to help with my hard legs from running and kicking as well as my stiff, still-healing thumb. P'Joi has been my regular massage doctor here. She teaches at Ong's Massage School and is nothing short of amazing. My body is generally tight, especially in the legs and hips, so she has been doing an amazing job helping that. Plus, her technique for massaging my thumb has definitely aided in the healing process. Although some of the massage is a bit rough, utilizing elbows, knees and even walking on my back, the results on my mental and physical health have been immediately noticeable. Today, during my massage, I could actually feel the healing energy radiating through my being. Combined with the light music in the background and singing of birds outside the window, it was maybe the most peaceful I've felt in a long, long time. The benefits of these treatments seem more far-reaching than acupuncture I've regularly received in the past, too.

- Since I arrived in Thailand, I've noticed that death and the reactions to it are a constant in daily life. From the first days here, the cremation ceremony for the dearly beloved King Rama IX was a very emotional, all-pervading event here. It could be felt in all activities on October 26, especially. It was somber and very respectful. The other day, I witnessed a funeral parade that was completely the opposite; an open truck full of people and a casket blaring Thai country-ish music as it took the body of the departed soul to its cremation. There was fanfare. There was celebration. There was death.

The other day, I entered my room to find a cockroach that had been poisoned writhing on the floor. It had probably already passed, but I didn't want to just throw it away in the trash. So, I scooped it into a paper bag and deposited it carefully in the small cemetery with a Buddhist chedi across the alley on my way out. Granted, this was not on the level of the previous examples, but in my mind each life deserves to be acknowledged and respected, even in death.

- Hand in hand with the realization of death is the realization of suffering. When I went to the highest peak in Thailand, the main thing left an impression on me was an injured, limping dog. It seemed to have adjusted to its ailment, but the way it was running as someone tried to chase it made its pain shoot through my heart. I still wonder if the dog is ok, or if anyone has helped it yet. I wish I was in a position to help.

The highest mountain, though towering above the land and lives of all beings, is still not a refuge from suffering.

- With all of these things in mind, I feel that my trajectory to enter a career of healing is more or less set. I look forward to seeing how the self-healing techniques that I learned in Reusii Datton (Thai yoga) along with these other realizations will help cultivate my future path and return trip to study massage and herbal medicine in Chiang Mai.

Story 92: Hater of Music

When I would leave Laika alone in the house, I would always leave low music playing for a little bit of white noise. It was usually classical music or some type of Indian or Asian CDs that I eternally had in my stereo. She didn't seem to love or hate them; she also wasn't offended when I played guitar or listened to punk/rock music. It wasn't until I got a cool traditional Indian music that her aversion surfaced!

A few years ago, I got really into harmonium music and Indian chanting. I found a cool shruti box for cheap online and was excited about playing it. It pretty much just plays a drone via bellows, like an accordion without keys. I loved it and even figured-out how to fix the buzz it was making. Laika, on the other hand, was not into it much. She didn't outwardly show any hate for it, but she would stare at it while I was playing or sometimes would investigate it while it was on the shelf. Hence, I mostly started keeping it on a higher shelf in its zippered bag.

I hadn't had a lot of time to play it one month, so it sat on a lower shelf where I had left it, in the bag. One day, I came home to a happy Laika waiting for me downstairs like usual. As I went upstairs, she did not want to follow me for some reason. As I entered my room, I realized why. She nervously peered around the corner at me as I discovered the partially destroyed shuti box, pulled from the bag and left on the floor among splinters of the previously nicely finished wood!

I was not angry, it was still operational. The bellows were functional, as were the protected sound holes. Aesthetically, it was a mess, but whatever. Laika was shaking with nervousness, so I petted her after picking up the pieces. I was just glad she hadn't eaten the wood, as a younger Laika might have. She got over it quickly and was soon relaxed, as if nothing had happened. Why would she do such a thing?

As far as I can tell it was a combination of factors. First, her general dislike for the sounds emanating from the box. However, this hidden hate, which was probably growing for some time, must have been pushed toward action by something external. As I arrived home that day, I heard many loud and high-pitched construction noises coming from outside as there was roadwork and building happening on our block. With the windows open a bit, this must've driven Laika mad. So, I understand why she chose that day to exact revenge against the shruti box.

Very rarely did adult Laika go on a path of destruction, so after realizing the motivations I knew she responded in such a way due to stress. At least this time didn't require a peroxide cocktail...