Story 84: The Toy Shooter

Sadly, the Tooth Fairy never actually visited Laika. However, with the two missing canine teeth on the right side of her mouth, she did get a special skill bestowed on her that we didn't find out about until months later.

The reason for this delay is that I was hesitant to give Laika some of her toys in the time immediately after her bottom canine tooth was bonded. Her food had to be softened with water and she could only have soft treats for a while. So, no more crunchy snacks and no more harder toys (like the solid rubber Kong ball that she loved). Still, the endless amount of bananas and pumpkin puree that she enjoyed kept her healthy, content and her tail wagging endlessly!

I slowly introduced the ball back into playtime along with a few tennis balls for her to destroy (under supervision, of course) for a treat. At first, Laika was a bit tentative to chew them because it must've been awkward with an unbalanced set of teeth. She managed, and within a week was back to savagely squeezing the Kong ball while emitting her proud, purring growl. The first time she did this with such delight and gusto, that it nearly gave me a black eye! Luckily, I have decent reflexes and was able to avoid the ball as it shot out of the right side of her mouth at extremely high speeds!

She was shocked and I was even more shocked! Apparently, the extreme strength of her jaws plus the lack of gripping teeth created a perfect mechanism for expelling rubber chew toys at insane velocities. As impressive as it was, this was a new element of danger in playing "fetch" (a.k.a. Laika takes the ball and runs away). Still, it was pretty hilarious as well. It would sometimes happen with regular Kongs if squeezed at just the right angle.

In true Laika style, she quickly realized the result of this new skill and used it to self-project balls and Kongs to chase and pounce-on. She was so smart. It was also good because it saved me the danger of being in the line of fire. Still, with a rubber toy in her mouth, I always had to be aware of the toy shooter's whereabouts!

While telling this tail, I came upon another photo that also explains why her teeth might have broken...

Worldly Connections to Transcendence

So, I will attempt to post again and see how it goes. My intentions from the last try still remain, but the focus this time should be...ummm...more focused. Time will tell, I suppose.

After reading so much about bhakti (devotional service to God) and being Thailand for over a week, where service in the form of merit-making is a daily activity for Buddhists, I've had a lot to try to put into practice while going about my daily business of...well...mainly walking around and seeing what comes up. Not to mention the very real compassionate undercurrent of the "jay" food festival and its devotional activities to Guan Im (as the Thai's say it), the Chinese Goddess of Mercy, that I discover each time I eat a meal a meal here.

I have been thinking constantly (but not obsessively) since I left home about how to rectify some of the transcendental goals of spiritual practices with daily, mundane life. The main teachings of compassionate, spiritual living in Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism stem from the interconnection of all beings and the field of effects radiating from each action (despite the differences of whether a "doer" actually exists or not). Although it is taught that material objects and embodied beings are illusory, with the imbued soul, divine nature or consciousness as both shared and unchanging, the truth of our current situation is that we are forced to operate on some levels within the world of impermanent forms, i.e. the world of everyday life.

So many scriptures teach the very real dangers of attachment to ever-changing and fleeting "material" things, which in my experience have been, and still are, the direct cause of stress and unhappiness; expectations of outcomes being one that gets lot of my attention at various times. Still, waking-up each day we are greeted with what our senses provide for the mind, but how we react is up to us by exercising various levels of discrimination. I am just now learning that while this involves a lot of work, it is a very beautiful way to practice changing how the world is experienced.

At the Vedanta Society in Los Angeles, I was lucky enough to experience a talk by a visiting swami on loving the Holy Mother. In Hindu belief, the Holy Mother takes many forms, such as Durga, Kali, Laxmi, each highlighting different aspects of shakti, or the feminine power of motion and creation in the universe. Additionally, this power works in conjunction with the underlying, pervasive divinity, or male representation of power, to create the world we live in. This world can be called maya, or illusion, as it is created to hide the oneness of all with the differentiation of forms our senses tell us exist. My understanding of Swamiji's lesson was that in order to experience divine unity, we should directly approach the Holy Mother to express thanks for the beauty of the world as a way to directly understand the true nature beyond the world of diversity. This was a very interesting perspective, which set my mind in motion as to how to best embrace the many seemingly different beings around as a means to pay respect to the oneness of spirit that we all share.

From this, I started to get an understanding of the true connection between beings. At home, things seem so separate and compartmentalized, even beyond "our" inherently different bodies, conditions and spiritual constitutions. Here, Thailand has a more communal approach to living. The sidewalk is not just way to get places, it is a place to meet and eat. Rides, tables and food are shared; as are karmic-related offerings to Buddha, monks, temples and deities. In a way, the basis of life is giving and sharing. Obviously, there are negative elements as well, such as a general lack of concern for waste, pollution and some rights of living beings. However, the underlying belief in interconnection, spreading well-being through spiritual merit-making and general sharing permeate life in Thailand.

Seeing this everyday is extremely heartening, especially in those who communally operate and support the many "jay" vegetarian restaurants here. Each time I enter one, I am overcome with a complete sense of peace. Food is needed by every living being, but food prepared with loving-kindness and the higher purpose of offering respect for living souls is spiritually nourishing as well. To me, it represents a direct path connecting the material elements of the world with transcendental, universal compassion. As if the making and serving of food is an enlightening, spiritual practice. I felt this also at the Hare Krishna temple in Los Angeles, which despite including dairy in some dishes, serves vegetarian food that has been first offered to Krishna; its purity and love passed along to those who take the prasadam to sustain their bodily existence.

Operating on several levels, these compassionate actions and choices, in even the most basic need of eating, have shown me how clear motivation in this world of forms can lead to experiencing universal oneness; respecting the bodily existence of all other beings. Intentions, therefore, form a connection between seemingly separate beings in the everyday world, but lead to higher service on the spiritual level. So, by living in a way that shows respect to all, we can increase our potential for expanding beyond our narrow existence to realize the true nature of life. I see this as a direct means of paying respect to the Holy Mother that is responsible for the world of maya as a means to transcend it.

While just reading Karnamrita Das's wonderful book Give to Live, I found the same realization more succinctly written. Giving is "the nature of the soul, the function of the consciousness...I am a giver. My life is my treasure...Each day provides an opportunity to share what I have been given." By setting intentions for each action and decision, he continues, we can devote ourselves to giving materially, emotionally and spiritually to all beings for their benefit and our own higher self-realization.

Reading this came at a perfect time in my journey to help me unify my thoughts and observations. I am not only working to fully understand these concepts, but also to put them into constant practice; placing my intentions within the web of interconnection of both the worldly and the spiritual and giving selflessly, according to the nature of the soul . Since I am currently bound by the laws of this worldly existence, I will offer thanks to all beings for providing a means to practice and advance closer to my spiritual goals through actions rooted in motivations higher than simply satisfying material desires.

Give to live. Live to give. With clear intentions of compassion and peace, the outcome is bound to be beneficial to all beings.

Story 83: Tooth Fairy Tales Pt. 2 - The Attempted Breakout

After the brute force escape, I knew it was only a matter of time until Laika tried again. It didn't take too long...a few days at most. It was in the evening when I was working my second/third job to help cover the bills until the pet insurance paid their share. The result of this near escape was not so good for poor Laika, though.

My roommate Bradley was living with us at the time, which was awesome because he would take time to sit with Laika on days when I had to work almost all day. She loved him and I'm sure was happy with the companionship in her small enclosure. One evening, however, I received a text at work that Laika had attempted a breakout by somehow pulling the hallway side metal gate in. She had failed to release herself. He straightened-out the gate and I didn't think much of it, aside from wondering how she had done it.

Upon returning now, nothing seemed amiss. Laika was excited to see me and sat wagging her tail with her plastic cone-haloed face pressed against the bars of the gate. At the top of the stairs, I did find a piece of what I thought was a toenail. So, I figured she tried to pull the gate in with her paw and it broke-off. After inspecting her paws, this was obviously not the case.

Her happiness led to the grime discovery, as her wry smile exposed the truth of her escape attempt. She had pulled with her mouth and snapped her remaining canine tooth on the right side completely down to the gum! She didn't seem to care, but I was worried about infection. At this point, I remember throwing my phone randomly in frustration, which didn't help anything and I immediately regretted. I was more upset that Laika would need another treatment and was now missing another tooth!

Luckily, she was able to eat. We saw the dentist a few days later, who could not believe the actions of Laika, the canine banana-peel. Again, we were lucky, because the tooth didn't need to be removed, only bonded. A true relief. The treatment was quick and painless for Laika, who still had some time left in solitary confinement for her poor leg! I figured this would calm her down, but this was another underestimation of her determination.

With only a few days left of wearing her splint, I arrived home on my lunch break to find her waiting patiently for me by the backdoor. Wiggling wildly and hobbling around as I entered. She had had enough and just pushed down the gates and came downstairs on her own. Given the dangers of her on the stairs, I figured it best to just confine her to the first floor until the time was up. She had won! It wasn't worth any more risks to her physical or mental health.

She ended-up healing completely, but it was a long several weeks to say the least. I was just happy that her mood had improved so much that she wanted to challenge the rules, but at the same time, she was now without any canine teeth on the right side of her mouth. This led to an unexpected danger...for me!

Story 82: Breaking Out

As with Laika's days of crate training, when she decided it was time to get out, she would devise a way to do it. No cage was strong enough to keep her from freedom! This became all too apparent during her second stint of medical solitary confinement.

I do not envy the amount of surgeries that Laika needed in her life. It was always sad to see her the first few days of recovery, as the soreness took hold and made her uncomfortable. Still, she always had enormous patience, grace and strength to overcome the steepest odds. When in confinement, though, her patience was tested, as was mine. Keeping her healthy was, at points, a full-time job, but it was both my responsibility and a source of joy. So, we made it through anyway we could.

The first time she was confined, the two areas of surgery (her back and leg) made her a less restless patient. She was excited to just sit with me in her enclosure. I would sleep there with her, too; both of us curled-up in the tiny spot together. The second time in solitary confinement started off this way, but ended quite differently. I figured this would be the case, so more fortifications were added: each side had a metal, locking baby gate with a pressure gate outside of that for good measure.

The first few days, Laika was pretty low-key, laying around and dozing when I didn't have to carry her downstairs because of the splint on her left rear leg. However, after mid-week, the gleam in her eye returned and she wanted to be outside of her enclosure, and I don't blame her!

One day, I came home on my lunch break to find that she had flown into action, putting into effect a plan she had probably been hatching since day one. It wasn't too technical, she simply rammed through both gates into my room, despite wearing a hard plastic cone. What did she do with her newly won freedom? She went to sleep on my bed, of course! Goldilocks was still fast asleep when I returned, happily wagging her tail as she awoke to me entering the room. I was not angry at her at all. I was actually pretty impressed with her headstrong (yes, a pun) method of escape simply to be more comfortable. I even fed her in the shadows of the rubble before taking her out and rebuilding the secure walls.

It was a brazen escape, but the next one attempted was more serious...

Story 81: Solitary Confinement

Laika was a semi-large lady at around 63 lbs or so. She could compact herself to a tiny ball when necessary, but usually she stretched out to take up the maximum amount of space possibly. This was fine, except in two instances that surgeries left her incapacitated and confined to a small place.

The first time came after a string of surgeries. First, I found a new mast cell tumor on her leg. Then, right after that surgery healed, her original back tumor recurred. So, two weeks later, her back was stitched-up again, but constantly weeping a bit from the end of the scar. Still, was a total trooper and healed-up ok despite the problems wrapping the area well.

The next stop was the oncologist and then the surgeon, who recommended that each surgery areas both be revised to achieve better margins. The result was Big Baby needing to be confined to a small, gated area. At the time, the only part of the house suitable for this was the tiny entryway to my room. After removing the door and putting up several tall metal baby gates, the area was ready. At about 3 ft by 4 ft, it wasn't ideal, but Laika made herself at home as best she could. I lived alone at the time and when I wasn't home my parents would come to sit with her, as she laid for almost two weeks in a drug-induced haze. I had to carry her up and down the stairs every time she went out, which was hard with her two sutured areas. She was the best patient, though. The two weeks flew by (just kidding), and I hoped this wouldn't happen again!

Fast forward two years and Laika had a large tumor growing on her ankle. It was benign, but still needed to be removed or else it would affect the joint. So, another surgery with a splint and soft cast...and solitary confinement for two weeks. I was again carrying her everywhere and even had to support her with a sling to help her walk outside. If anything, our previous arrangement made it easier in some ways, but she was still being her same old gold star patient self. Until, of course, she decided to break out...

The Underwear on the Roof: A Parable

I just spent the better part of 2 hours writing the post that I've been wanting to write for about 5 days. I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but luckily it doesn't matter, because my tablet froze while it was saving and most of it is lost. Probably a sign it is better left unpublished. So, I have a quick little parable of sorts to share...

My current room in Chiang Mai has a beautiful view of the surrounding mountains. I can even see the lights of the temple Wat Doi Sutep at night, glowing against the background of dark forests and sky. Being on the second floor, I also have a view of the low metal roof of the next door building, which occasionally harbors a sleeping cat, but always an old, forgotten pair of underwear discolored from rain and dirt. At first, this ruined the view, despite not even being in the field of vision of the towering, silent hills above. The more I pondered why this was, I came to realize it as concrete evidence that the mind constantly searches and attaches to material imperfections instead of higher nature. After simply accepting that the soiled briefs are there, I no longer give them any thought. The underwear was not the problem, my mind's reaction was. I guess anything can be a means of practice when you want it to be.

อีกสามวันที่เชียงใหม่: Three More Days in Chiang Mai

ขอโทษที่แอนดี้เขียนนี้ชามากๆครับ แต่ว่าทุกวันผมไปเดินเล่นตลอดเวลา เชียงใหม่เป็นเมืองที่สวยดี สบายดีด้วยครับ สามวันที่แล้วเบลและแฟนเค้าพาแอนดี้ไปเที่ยวดอยอินทนนท์มา คือดอยสูงที่สุดในเมืองไทย อากาศที่โน่นเย็นดีแต่ตอนเราได้ไปเที่ยวอยู่ฝนตก หลังจากนั้นพวกเขาพาแอนดี้ไปชมพิพิธภัณฑ์พระพิฆเนศมา ก็สวยดี แอนดี้ได้ถ่ายรูปเยอะ ดีใจมากที่เบลพาแอนดี้ไปเที่ยวอีกแล้วครับ สนุกดีมากๆ

สองวันที่แล้วมีงานเผาศพในหลวง ตอนบ่ายเกือบทุกที่ปิดเพราะว่าคนไทยหลายคนได้เอาดอกไม้ไปไหว้ในหลวงที่สนามกีฬาในเชียงใหม่ครับ ตอนเช้าแอนดี้ได้ไปเดินเล่นไกลมากแถวริมแม่น้ำและเมืองเก่า ทุกคนที่แอนดี้เจอดูเสียใจจริงๆ น่าสงสารมาก แอนดี้ก็เสียใจด้วย หลังจากกลับห้องแอนดี้ได้สอนภาษาอังกฤษให้เพื่อนใหม่ที่อยู่ห้อพักด้อยกัน สนุกดีๆ

เมื่อวานก็สนุกดีเพราะว่าได้ไปป่างช้าง Elephant Nature Park มาครับ เป็นป่างช้างที่ดีที่สุดนะ มีช้าง 78 เชือก หมา 200 กว่าตัว ควาย 80 ตัว และแมวหลายตัว น่าสารใจมากที่ช้างส่วนใหญ่มีปัณหาสุขภาพ แต่หลังจากไปเที่ยวมาผมคิดว่าคนดูและที่ป่างช้างเลี้ยงมันเก่งมากๆ ไปเรียนเรื่องของช้างให้อาหารมันและเจอหมาหลายตัวดีมากๆครับ ไกด์ของผมเป็นคนตลก แต่สอนเกี่ยวกับช้างให้เก่งมากที่สุด ถ้ามีเวลาจะลองไปอีกเพื่อช่วยดูและหมาครับ

วันนี้ผมไปลองดูโรงเรียนนวดมาในที่สุด ชอบมาก พี่ที่แอนดี้คุยกันใจดีมากครับ แล้ว ผมจะริ่มเรียนฤษีดัดตนวันจันทร์นี้ สองวันนะ ตื่นเต้นแล้ว ก็ไปลองดูยิมมวยไทยมาด้วย ดูดีนะ จะไปซ้อมพรุ่งนี้ตอนบ่าย ดีใจมากที่นิ้วดีขึ้นแล้ว เย้ๆ

Been a busy few days, with a lot of happenings. Here's some random things and thoughts:

- Belle and Bpei-Bpei are so awesome. They took an entire day to bring me to not only a wonderful lunch, but also the highest mountain in Thailand and the Ganesha Museum (which we almost didn't make it to). The mountain was so cool with the misty rain and wind. It was so high up that my prepackaged pineapple pie nearly exploded from the pressure! Wild! Such a fun day!

- I already hit the one-week wall of speaking Thai. Had a mental block/fear of not getting better, then just worked through it. Feeling better now, despite the mornings still being a bit rough. lol

- Thursday was the Royal Cremation ceremony in Bangkok. I didn't explicitly pay attention to it, but the mood of anyone I met was pretty somber. When I was running that morning, they even had it broadcast on a huge screen on the outside of a large shopping mall. I stopped to watch for a few minutes next to a few ladies and it was very sad, knowing how so many people were affected by losing their shining beacon of strength, hope and national identity. The rest of the morning/afternoon I just walked around near the river and in the Old City. It was like a ghost town, as many people had gone to pay respects and participate in a ceremony at one of the stadiums here.

- I started helping a Thai lady who stays at the same guesthouse with her English. She is very funny, so it is nice to teach her. It also has helped with my Thai skills, which is obviously a bonus.

- The food here is awesome. The vegan festival ends today, but I have located most of the permanent places that will continue serving after today!

- Yesterday, I went to the Elephant Nature Park. It was a wonderful experience, which taught me a lot about the plight of Asian Elephants that are/were native to Thailand. I was in a group of 8 people from places like Scotland, Spain and Slovakia. It was a good mix and cool to hear about their travels. Our tour guide Job was great and very informative, as well as very funny. He told me that I can speak Thai really well and during breaks, he and some other tour guides joked with me about various things.

We watched a video about the park and the many problems elephants still face from exploitation in the 1-hour drive on the way there. It was hard to watch, given the savagery still routinely inflicted on them by human hands. Almost on cue, when the video finished, we passed a group of tourists riding elephants that had been harnessed and chained. It was sickening. The last sad elephant was carrying an old white lady holding a parasol. It seemed like some sort of lost image from a past better-off forgotten. Talking to the others in my group at lunch, they felt the same way. I just hope that people like that woman who take part in exploitation of animals (and humans) for "tourism" and entertainment somehow become aware of their ignorance and choose more beneficial activities for the good of all beings in the future.

Elephant Nature Park was the opposite of those passing scenes. No chains, no handlers with equipment to harm the elephants. It was very peaceful. As park visitors, we were mostly observers. It was cool to feed the elephants and see them having a good quality of life. Of the 78 elephants there, most had suffered some type of injury while working illegally or, even more brutal, by stepping on landmines along the Thai-Myanmar border. Despite this previous horrific treatment, the elephants in the sanctuary had a high level of freedom to live as the chose and to form foster families. The several blind elephants had even found helpers to guide them through life in the park. It was very impressive to see their resilience and comradery.

The park also had a lot of other animals, including over 80 water buffalo, 200+ dogs and a lot of cats, too. I was happy to get some dog-time in as well, feeding bananas to a few of the pups while the rest of the group was trying to feed our elephant! There was even a dog that jumped on the (all vegan) buffet table after lunch to clean up the scraps. It made me feel at home! All in all, it was a great day. I am going to see if I can maybe do a day trip again to work with the dogs!

- Today I went to check-out a massage school to study Ruesii Datton. It was great, the lady I spoke with talked to me only in Thai and I understood pretty much everything. Apparently, her boyfriend lives in Cleveland, so we had something to talk about. I start a 2-day course on Monday. I also hope to do the Thai Herbal Compress class on Saturday. They had a special lunch for the graduating teachers today and invited me to stay! The food was mostly "jay' and was very good! I am glad I found this place.

- I also went to check-out a Muay Thai gym here in the Old City. It seems decent and they are ok with me training and not punching. They have 2-hour sessions throughout the day, so I will start tomorrow afternoon. It is a slightly different format than the other gyms, but I just want to get some training in before going to Ubon. Excited!

- I think I am going to add a few more days to my stay here in Chiang Mai, again. I will probably stay until 11/9, then go to Issan for 5 days and then back to Bangkok for the last 6 days. Chiang Mai is awesome.

Story 80: Basket Breaker

Today I went to an elephant sanctuary in Chiang Mai. It was a pretty awesome experience. There were lots of elephants and lots of dogs running around. At one point, I saw a young, naughty elephant chasing a few dogs and it reminded me of Laika and her moments of recklessness that inevitably led to something being broken.

In the dog park, Laika was a battering ram, charging around with such abandon that anything in her way would be leveled by her concrete noggin. In the hallway of my old apartment, she would speed toward treats or the doorbell with such zeal that more than a few times she knocked me over in the process. She was like lot like a baby elephant, it would seem.

One day, she did something that even surprised her. I had just returned to my house and put down a very heavy laundry basket full of clothes and other things in the middle of the living room. The basket, itself, was pretty sturdy and made from double thickness plastic. With the weight of the contents, it was actually unable to slide on the floor. Laika was actually pretty agile at times, so I thought nothing of the basket's placement.

Laika was interested in the basket, so she spent the first few minutes milling around it, just hanging out. Then she settled down on the floor between the front door and the basket. All the while I was in the kitchen, getting ready to eat a snack and waiting for a friend to come over. Laika watched from her station after the basket inspection was complete. I could tell that her excitement was building, since treats were imminent.

When my friend arrived, Laika was happy, but quickly returned to her spot. At this point, I left them together and went back outside to retrieve something from my car. I was only gone under 30 seconds, but when I came through the back door, it was as if Laika had been missing me for months. She jumped-up, tail whirling and lunged toward me, completely forgetting the basket was in her way...

CRACK!!! The sound echoed so loudly in the house. Big Baby's head met the thickest part of the basket handle, and her head won! The plastic shrapnel almost reached were I was standing (about 8 ft from the point of impact). She just stood there, stunned, but still wagging her tail. I laughed so hard as my friend stared in disbelief. It was a perfect Laika moment, as she acted like nothing happened, despite the obvious, violent collision.

I inspected her face to make sure she was ok. No harm, no foul. She was still kind of excited, but I still wasn't even sure why. Things like this just became common occurrences in the life of Laika, the baby elephant trapped in a pitbull's body!

Story 79: Friendship Tales: Laika & Ramona

As noted in earlier posts, Laika and Missy's pup Ramona were good friends. They met during the time before I even knew Laika, after Missy's boss found Baby Girl on the street! Their relationship was not all fun and games, though, as Laika could be a little bit too overzealous about things and constantly tried to steal toys or attention from Ramona. This caused Laika to receive some discipline at times, but in a good-natured way.

It's also pretty safe to say that Ramona was the only living witness to many of the insane things that Laika did at Missy's houses...to which we were only the audience to the unbelievable aftermaths. I assume this might have made her wary of being anywhere alone with Laika, but since most mischief was obviously not her fault, she seemed ok with it. Also, given her own struggles with separation anxiety as a puppy, she might have been a positive force on Laika's own mellowing-out.

Watching them run and play together was great, though. You could tell that Laika treated Ramona like and older sibling, by teasing and annoying her for attention and then submissively offering apologies after at was all said and done. Laika loved to steal Ramona's toys and her spot as soon as she would move. All the while, wagging her tail and waiting for Ramona to respond. Missy and I would constantly love watching the ongoing, goofy games they played.

Sadly, Ramona lost her battle with mast cell cancer several years ago. She fought hard and Missy supported her throughout it all. As one of Laika's better pals, the loss was hard on many levels. I remember being very sad to hear the news and sadder for Laika that they would never play together in this life again. Through Ramona's unfortunate illness, though, Missy gained very valuable perspective on the effects of the treatments and her role in decision. Talking to her about Laika's cancer was, therefore, extremely helpful and endlessly supportive.

This photo of Laika and Ramona is one of my favorites, taken by Missy at her old house. It looked nostalgic when it was taken and even more so now...like a famous 19th century portrait of two stately, distinguished generals or politicians. In real life, however, that couldn't be further from the truth. Still, this moment in time shows to old friends, enjoying a late summer afternoon in Missy's garden, waiting patiently together for the cool evening breeze.

Story 78: At the Edge of Panic

Before the positive reinforcement training, I tried a few different ways to help Laika relax on walks. Most of them that worked once, probably did so simply due to dumb luck. One recommended by a few people was an herbal "rescue remedy," which is basically a calming essence of flowers in some alcohol that is diluted in drinking water. It seemed promising. The results were terrific, too...terrifically unexpected and opposite from the desired effect!

Before giving some to Laika, I read all of the info online to make sure it would be administered correctly. I didn't want to do anything bad to her. I even checked with her vet and was encouraged to try it, because it was at the time Laika was miserable and anxious on leash. A friend confirmed that it work for him, too. A human opinion held weight, for some reason.

So, on the appointed day, at the time Laika would be thirstiest, I put the recommended number of drops into her water. She drank it all and we waited about 15 minutes to go outside for our walk. As we got ready, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She was excited and rearing to go. As we exited the house, it became apparent that something was not right.

Laika's usual excited pulling was quickly given a new soundtrack, a growing wail of panic and some moans thrown in for good measure. As if being conducted from somewhere, her verbal unhappiness grew to deafening levels quite quickly as her eyes widened with stress. I felt so bad for her, because she was obviously unable to tolerate the tincture. In fact, it magnified her anxiety off the scale. Since there was no rescue rescue remedy, we just had to wait it out.

Even after our brief walk, Laika still kept whining and shaking a bit at home. I tried to calm her with treats and more water, but it didn't work right away. Finally, it all passed and she went to sleep. Seeing her finally able to relax was the only relief from the whole ordeal. As she slept, I made a promise to her never to give her this "remedy" again. We needed a real remedy through training us both positively, not some treatment to only address the symptoms. This was a misstep, but led directly to the right path!

อยู่ที่เชียงใหม่: In Chiang Mai

เมื่อนวานแอนดี้มาถึงเชียงใหม่ครับ ไม่ได้มาเที่ยวตั้งแต่สองปีที่แล้ว ตอนมาถึงแอนดี้จำได้ว่าชอบอยู่ที่นี้มากๆ อากาศสบายๆ และคนเหนื่อใจดีด้อยครับ เพื่อนผมที่ชื่อเบลมารับแอนดี้ที่สนานบินกับแฟนเค้า พวกเค้าเป็นคนที่ดี ก่อนส่งแอนดี้มาห้องผักเบลและแฟนเค้าได้พาไปทานอาหารเจและไปชมวัดสองวัดด้วย เราจะไปเที่ยวด้วยกันพรุ่งนี้เช้ามากครับ

เมื่อวานตอนเย็นและเมื่อเช้านี้แอนดี้ได้ไปวิ่ง หลังจากนั้นครั้งทั้งสองผมไปเดินเล่นหาอาหารเจด้วย ก็ได้ไปชมวัดหลายวัด ทุกวัดที่นี้สวยและเงียบสงบด้วย แอนดี้ชอยมากๆ ไม่เมื่อนกับวัดที่กรุงเทพ ชอบวัดที่โน่นด้อย แต่ว่าวัดที่นี้ไม่มีคนเยอะตลอดครับ วันนี้แอนดี้ได้จองตั๋วไปสวนช้างอีกสามวัน ตื่นเต้นมากแล้ว จะไม่ผักข้ามคืน แต่ถ้าชอบมากเลยจะจองตั๋วไปช่วงดูแลหมาในสวนอาทิตย์หน้า เย้ๆ

พรุ่งนี้จะไปเที่ยวภูเขาเช้ามาก เราน่าจะออกไปตอนตี 4 นะ เช้าไป 555 ดีใจแล้วว่าไปเที่ยวกับเบลและแฟนเค้าอีก จะสนุกดีๆ จะถ่ายรูปเยอะๆ เพราะว่าไม่เคยไปเที่ยวนอกเมืองเชียงไหม่ครับ

Here I am again in Chiang Mai. It's been two years and I still remember lots of cool little places I found and how to get around pretty easily. I decided to extend my stay from 10-15 days so I can be here from Loy Kratong Festival on November 3rd! Here are some points so far:

- My friend Belle who used to live in Pittsburgh, but moved back here has already gone above and beyond! She and her boyfriend PeiPei came to pick me up at the airport, took me out for "jay" food, and then to a few temples before dropping me off at my condo. They are already planning to take me to the mountains really early tomorrow morning to see the sun rise. They are two of the nicest people who want to show me the beauty all around here. They asked me to stay for the Loy Kratong festival, too. I couldn't say no.

- While running and walking around the past few days, I noticed that most Thai people are masters of many skills. Their stores here in Chaing Mai reflect it. Very rarely do you see a store specializing in one type of thing. So, not surprisingly, I walked past several cavernous storefronts today the were selling a nice mix of motorcycle helmets, power tools, acoustic guitars and other (more) random stuff. It's like the streets are lined with tiny department stores or something. Pretty cool, as most everything in America is specialized, boutique or online.

- I found out that the Reusii Datton (Thai yoga classes) that I wanted to study are postponed for the present time, as the teacher is away until next week. I will try for a one-day lesson or just figure out something else to do entirely. I think there might be another school, which I will look into.

- I booked a day-trip to the elephant sanctuary on Friday. I am excited. I wanted to stay overnight, but I think this will be better. Visitors just get feed the elephants and chill with them for the day. I will seek out some disposable shoes tomorrow for this endeavor. I might see is they will let me do a one-day trip next week to help care for the dogs there, as well. As much as I wanted to do the overnight trip, I am not sure how I will feel being around/taking care of dogs right now. But, if I can do another trip for that, I can see how I feel. I was also worried about the food they are providing, but it is 100% vegan/"jay." Pretty awesome!

- The temples here in Chiang Mai are all really peaceful. I can't rightly explain why, but they really are. The Buddha-images all seem friendlier on some level...like they are pleased to see you and are actually wishing you well. While I am walking around aimlessly, or more like with aim unknown, I will randomly go into temples and sit for a few minutes. In one, I just sat and watched a candle blow in the wind for a while, the breeze was nice and the whole scene reminded me about a meditation technique that I wish I had more practice with. Still, it was pretty peaceful on multiple levels.

In the old city, I almost paid to go into the one giant temple, which was free two years ago. I figure I would save the entrance fee and a half-block away came upon a very beautiful, small temple made entirely of wood that I had never noticed before. It was one of the more rustic ones I've been to, but had something that really drew me in. There were also a few volunteers interacting in various ways with visitors (but not asking for money), which doesn't usually happen in my experience. I avoid the temples with massage places or commercialized stuff in them. I will go back to this temple again, for certain.

- The Hindu temple here is also super peaceful. Totally the opposite of the one I stay near in Bangkok. I went today and was the only person there, aside from the pandit who had just opened it for the afternoon. It was nice to spend some quiet time there. I made some offerings of unopened bottles of water. I figure it can be used later, like the prasadam. So far this trip, I have made no offerings of flowers. Sure, they are beautiful and clearly embody the idea of impermanence as they wither away. But, it just seems so wasteful and even violent on some level to make an offering of something purely aesthetic, which results in harming a plant that could just as easily be kept alive in a pot to continue existing and contributing its beauty to the world.

- My thumb is still kind of wonky from being broken last month. I have been running a lot, but have yet to entertain the idea of training Muay Thai yet. I saw there is a training camp not too far from here that I will look into soon. If I can train low-impact (no punching) starting this weekend, that would be nice, since I plan to train again in NE Thailand again this trip.

I have been planning a post about some specific thoughts relating to the title of this blog. I will make time tomorrow!

Story 77: Laika & Speck

Laika had a few close friendships with other pups. Most were based on goofiness, fun or annoyance. One friendship, though, was based purely on fear...Laika's fear of Speck, a Jack Russell-chihuahua mix cared for by my friends Chris and Jess.

Yes, this is kind of absurd, as Laika used to have a bit of a problem distinguishing small dogs from squirrels (which she was basically against in concept and in practice). Speck, however, was the exception. Why, you ask? The main reason was that she probably barked more times in a day than most living beings breathed. This is not an exaggeration in the least, either.

The first time they met, Laika knew immediately who was in charge. Speck was like a tiny drill sergeant that kept Laika completely in line, at least in the house. She was not vicious toward Laika, but did command authority. Usually, Laika would just sit at a distance, hoping not to be told what for. On walks, though, they kind of balanced each other out and, for some unknown reason, neither of them was on edge. They were able to walk happily like two chill pups, usually both sporting fashionable sweaters in the cold weather.

They did finally get to the point where they were good together inside, too. This helped, as Jess and Chris took care of Laika in the evenings when my mom was not well a number of years ago. Laika, apparently, got pretty comfortable at their place and was a giant lapdog for much of her time there. I was so glad Speck's reign of terror was over!

Speck lived to be over 16 years old. She was a fixture in Laika's and my lives for the first 6 years or so. Their friendship was good in general, but also because it actually gave Laika pause and a bit of control around smaller dogs, due to the lingering memories from their early interactions.

Without Speck, however, Laika was sometimes on the edge of panic on walks, even the time when I tried to give her a specific remedy for it...

Story 76: Tooth Fairy Tales Pt. 1

Laika had a strong bite. She tested the strength of toys, antlers and all crunchy foods with reckless abandon. Later in life, this would take it's toll on her canine teeth, resulting in several visits to the dentist. Luckily, our Tooth Fairy in this tale (me) had pet insurance for her.

The first of our two trips to the dentist had a mysterious origin. At a routine check-up a few years ago, The vet discovered that Laika's top right canine tooth was slightly shattered and starting to split! Not sure how I missed seeing it, but I suspect it happened earlier that day as a result of constant wear and tear from life. We were referred to the dentist, who took one look and said it needed to be extracted. Having gone through various cancer surgeries before, I braced for the worst. Laika was none the wiser. The tooth didn't seem to bother her, but in its current state, the risk of infection was high.

The surgery was done that day and Laika was home in no time. She didn't seem to be bothered by it, but she did have a number of stitches in her gum. I was given the removed tooth and it was huge, despite more than half of the previously visible part being broken off! I didn't realize how much of the canine is below the gum. I felt bad for Big Baby, but as soon as she could eat again, she was back to her normal, goofy self.

Of all her surgical procedures, this was one of the easier ones for both of us. It also prepared me for our second, more epic trip to the dentist the following year. But that, as they say, is another story...

Story 75: Partners in Crime: Laika & Heisa

Laika and Heisa were best pals when they lived together. It was weird how well they got along, honestly. Laika would usually try to steal toys from other dogs, namely Ramona, but with Heisa, there wasn't much competition. They simply loved to chill together most of the time. Some might say that they were thicker than thieves...which sometimes actually involved "crimes"!

At the beginning, Laika was a terror outside and very good inside. Heisa was the opposite. Elaina and I joked that they combined to make one good dog and one bad dog! But time and attentive training allowed us to help our respective pups balance their constitutions. Still, they were good at getting into mischief when they put their minds to it.

Whether it was a book being eaten, food being pilfered or an errant accident, their hijinks were usually on the lower end of the serious spectrum. They were persistent, which made us speculate that maybe they would scheme them in advance and wait for the perfect time to pull them off. Regardless, they were partners in crime.

Additionally, they were also partners in trying to cover their tracks...or at least they thought so! Upon returning home to something amiss, both Laika and Heisa would sit stone-faced while the offense was discovered. Elaina and I were not strict disciplinarians, but the dogs knew when they did something "wrong." The first few times, their act worked, and it was hard to figure out which one was the perpetrator.

However, they soon changed their approach and without knowing it, incriminated each other inadvertantly. They did this by changing their body language and actions when discovered. Instead of wearing pokerfaces, the innocent party would position themselves between the discoverer of the crime and the other one, wagged their tail as they shielded the guilty one from our gaze in an attempt to distract us. The "criminal" would sit with head bowed, trying not to be seen. So, it was pretty obvious who dunnit, as they say.

Regardless, it was quite impressive how protective they were of each other, despite their behavior's accidental incrimination. Seeing how much they cared for each other like that was pretty heartwarming and made Elaina and I both happy that they had each other as roommates and partners in crime.

วันแรกที่เมืองไทย: First Full Day Here

สองว่าที่แล้วแอนดี้มาถึงเมืองไทยแล้ว จากสนามบินแอนดี้ขึ้น Airport Link และ BTS ได้มาห้องเช่านะครับ สะดวกมากๆ ดีใจมากที่ถูกมากและใช้เวลาหน่อยด้อย หลังจากได้อาบน้ำผมไปหาเพื่อนที่ร้านอาหารเจที่อยุใกล้ๆห้อง กับข้าวที่นั่นอร่อยมากๆ ตอนเย็นแอนดี้วางแผนไปเจอเพื่อนที่เยาวราชแต่ไม่ได้ไปเพราะว่าง่วงนอนเกินไป นอนหลับนานมากแทน

เมื่อวานคือวันที่ดีมากครับ ก็วันแรกแอนดี้ว่างทั้งวัน ตอนเช้าได้ไปวิ่ง 12 km กว่ามา ทำให้แอนดี้รู้สึกดีขึ้นมาก เพราะว่าได้การนั่งนานมากในดครื่องบินึรับ ตอนบ่ายแอนดีนั่งเรือไปนวดแถววัดโพธิ์ แอนดี้โชคดีอีกแล้ว เพราะว่าได้เจอหมอนอดที่ขอบที่สุดบังเอิญข้างหน้าโรงเรียนนวด เยี่ยมมากๆ เขากำลังจะกลับบ้านเพราะว่าไม่ยุ่ง แล้วเขาดีใจมากที่แอนดี้มาอีกแล้ว เลยเขานวดให้แทนออกไปกลับบ้าน ดีมากเลย เขานวดเก่งมากและสอนภาษาไทยไห้ด้วย

หลังจากนั้นแอนดี้ได้เดินไปสนามหลวงเพื่อถ่ายรูป มีของสวยเยอะสำหรับการเผาศพในหลวง ก็มีคนเยอะที่ใส่ชุดสีดำ

ตอนเย็นหญิงพาแอนดี้ไปทานอาหารเจที่เยาวราช ไปเที่ยวด้วยกับหญิงสนุกดีๆ เพราะว่าเขาเป็นคนที่ดีที่สุด ตอนแอนดี้ไม่รู้เรื่อง เขาอธิบายให้ดีนะครับ กับข้าวทุกอย่างก็อร่อยดี หวังว่ามีเทศกาลกินเจตลอดๆ เพราะมีอาหารทุกอย่างที่แอนดี้ทานได้

So far, so good! I think I am going to play the random thoughts angle again for these posts, which will hopefully alleviate some of the tedium of a straight narrative. Here goes:

- After arriving, I bought a SIM card at the airport, which I have never done. I feel like it was a bit more expensive than at the mall, but it was convenient to have a working phone/data connection right away. The ladies working there were bemused by the fact that I can speak Thai without having a Thai significant other. Yes, it was the first question I was asked after choosing a phone plan!

- Taking the airport link and BTS (elevated train) to the hostel was awesome, cheap and fast. I met and older British guy named Andy who helped me out with the BTS, because they changed the entire map by adding a bunch of stops since last year. Just the tip of the iceberg of the kindness of strangers I am bound to receive this trip.

- The humidity here is brutal. I went running this morning for an hour around the hostel and in Lumpini Park. The sun is very bright at 8 am. I ran about 12 km, which felt good after all the time sitting on the planes.

- I slept a lot yesterday, but it was necessary. Same this evening after I got home. I think by tomorrow I will adjust to the time.

- I went to get a message today at the Wat Po school, but the locatiin outside the temple. Getting there was insane, because all transit has been affected by the King's cremation ceremony. I helped some American and German tourists figure out how to get where they needed to go via the boats. I then took the boat and had to get off at a different pier and walk to the school.

As luck would have it, I run into my favorite massage doctor Suganya as she was leaving because they weren't busy because of so many road closures. She didn't recognize me at first because of my longish hair, but she was excited to see me and went back to work to give me a massage. It was awesome and totally needed. She remembers so much about what we've talked about over the past 3 years since I have been her regular patient. It felt like talking to an old friend, in some ways. She only speaks Thai with me and is very good about explaining things that I don't understand. Massage + good conversation + language lesson = great! I will go again tomorrow, especially after walking for many hours today.

- Last night, the power at the hostel went out around Midnight until 2 am. My room was already pretty cool, so I wasn't worried. Usually, something like this might be a bummer, but what struck me was the silence from the quieting of all the air conditioners and fans. It was kind of beautiful and really peaceful in a way. Like when you reach the calm during meditation.

- Thai street food dining is possibly the easiest/best way to meet new people. You usually end up sitting with someone  (or many people) you don't know and conversation is inevitable. It is like a free language class and I learn a lot about things I previously didn't know. It helps that I feel more confident with my speaking from the get-go this year! Two really good people I met today were Rani and Yaya (who I didn't meet at a food place).

- The Vegan Festival is awesome. Since it is celebrated by many people of Chinese descent, Chinatown is ground zero for eating anything and everything. What is most interesting to me is that seeming 95% of the restaurants change their entire menus for the 9 days of the festival. People go out in droves to eat the "jay food" as it is called. Pretty impressive that a food culture usually based on meat consumption can move toward offering more compassionate choices even for just over a week and so many people will go to eat it. Some places had lines of 50 people or more, which says a lot because there were literally hundreds of food sellers!

- I met my friend Ying yesterday to go out to eat in Chinatown. She is the best. Last year, we didn't get to see each other much because she was very busy. I hope this year is different, because she is very fun to be around and, since I met her in Pittsburgh about four years ago, is one of the main "teachers" that I have to thanks for my Thai language skills. While we were eating, an older lady sat with us and kept telling Ying that it was so good that I can speak so well. I was flattered. I think the lady assumed we were dating or something, but the vote of confidence didn't hurt. Did I mention that Ying is the best? Maybe I did already.

- I am glad that I brought a black t-shirt with me today, as I walked around the area near the Royal Palace to see the preparations for the King's cremation. Impressive and grand would both be gross understatements. As opposed to last year, people seem to be grieving less. This has been replaced by an outward reverential pride reflecting all of the King's intentions and deeds that were done for them to have better lives. The display of unity still stands on par with the time of his passing last year. Again, impressive is an understatement.

- There is a song lyric by the 80s hardcore band Justice League that I kept thinking about all day today. It goes like, "When I smile, does the world smile back a me?" After some of the readings I've been doing by Swami Vivekenanda and also about the compassionate Buddha, I think smiling is such a clear way to offer a wordless message of love to all. Even if in times of inner conflict, a somewhat forced smile can attract a real compassionate reaction in kind from others, which will, in turn, re-energize the intention and mindset. I tried it today and received glorious results. After all, this is known as the Land of Smiles. What better way to complete the circle of loving-kindness than to exchange smiles with all? So, to answer the song's question, I'll say, "yes."

Story 74: Fashion Files - Haberdashery

Lynda is probably one of my craftiest friends, in that she creates beautiful things out of ordinary objects. Years ago, she saw an article about a photographer who was working to change the image of pitbulls by taking photos of them with wreaths of flowers on their heads to create cherubic images of a horribly misunderstood breed. Lynda was inspired and created two amazing hats for Laika. The results were, as you will see, stunning.

The first was a "Happy Holidays" tiara, bedecked with red flowers and ribbon. Dubbed the "holiday helmet," this was an instant hit with everyone except Laika! I managed to snap a few photos of her wearing it, but it would not stay on well due to her head shape. Obviously, it was shaped for a full-on crown, not a tiara! Still, holiday cheer was spread!

The second hat was a white Easter bonnet adorned with giant yellow sunflowers. As luck would have it, Laika modeled it while wearing her yellow shirt, creating quite an fashionable ensemble! She actually didn't mind wearing it. With the help of a chin strap, she wore it well, making everyone smile by parading around happily in such a jaunty, bright hat. She even put on her best pouty modeling look during the photoshoot! (This was her "blue steel" moment.) I have actually made buttons of the one photos to give to my friends, because Laika in the bonnet became a fun, funny and iconic image that I wanted to share with others.

Thanks to Lynda's artistic vision, Laika was never at a loss for festive headwear. In fact, the haberdashery perfectly matched Laika's personality...and her shirt! I am glad Laika was so inspired that she actually posed for the camera twice in her life (with the help of treats, of course)!

ไปเที่ยวที่ LA: Out in LA

เมื่อวานสนุกดีมากนะครับ หลังจากแอนดี้ไปถึง LA และไปรังรถเช่าแอนดี้ได้ทานอหารอินเดียเจที่วัดพระกฤษณะ ก็ไปใหว่พระและสวาดมนต์ด้อยมา ไม่เคยไปวันนี้ก่อนเมื่อวาน ชอบมากๆ กับข้าวอร่อยดีและวัดสวยมากๆครับ หลังจาะนั้นแอนดี้ไปหาพระที่วัดฮินดูวัดอื่นที่ Hollywood มา วันนี้เป็นวัดศรีรามากฤษณะ เคยไปปีที่แล้ว ชอบมากเพราะว่าโบสถ์เงียบสงบที่ดีที่สุดครับ ที่นั้นแอนดี้ได้ซื้อหนังสือหลายเล่ม แอนดี้ก็ได้ทานข้าวด้อยกับพระและคนอื่นในวัด แต่กินผนลไม้อย่างเดียว ตอนแอนดี้ทานอยู่รู้สึกเสียใจมากเพราะว่าคนเยอะทานไก่ คิดว่าแปลกมากที่คนที่นับถือศาสนาที่สอนเกี่ยวกับควานรักสุดยอดทานอย่างนี้ แอนดี้ก็เรียนหนังสือฟังธรรมฮินดูที่วัดด้อย ชอบนี้มากๆครับ

เมื่อวานตอนเย็นแอนดี้ไปหาเพื่อนที่ไม่ได้จะกันนานมากแล้ว เราไปทานข้าวที่ร้านอาหารไทยด้วยกัน อร่อยมาก เราก็ได้นั่งคุยกันนานมาก สนุกดีครับ วันนี้แอนดี้พักผอนทั้งวันนอกจากไปไปรษณีย์ร้านขายไทยที่ Hollywood มา เจ้าของร้านบอกแอนดี้ว่าเทศกาลกินเจจะเริ่มวันที่ผมจะไปถึงเมื่องไทยนะ ตอนนี้ดีใจขึ้นเพราะว่าไปกืนข้าวเยอะๆได้ คิดว่างานผ่านมาแล้ว ก่อนแอนดี่ไปสนามบินเพื่อนพาไปทานที่ร้านอาหารพน้า อร่อยดีอีกแล้ว 5555

ตอนนี้แอนดี้เขียนอยู่ไนเครื่องบิน ผู้โดยสารคนส่วนมากนอนอยู่นะครับ แต่ว่าแอนดี้ไม่อยากนอนอีกที ชอบนั่งเขียนและอ่านนั่งสือด้อย แปลกมากๆที่เครื่องบินนี้ไม่มี wifi นะ :-( หวังว่าจะมีที่สนามบินครับ

My time in LA was pretty good. I went to a few temples, hung out with my friend Spencer and his wife Alana and ate good food, all according to plan. All in all, it was one of my best trips to LA due to the varied experiences and quality relaxation in such a short time.

The ISKCON/Hare Krishna Temple and the Vedanta Society in Hollywood were both interesting excursions yesterday. I got a lot out of both experiences. Having never been to a Hare Krishna place of worship, I wasn't sure what to expect. I love chanting the Hare Krishna mantra each day, but I am not familiar with enough of the other practices to have an opinion on the rest of the "religion." I will say that the ideas are interesting, but contradict my own understanding of the Bhagavad Gita's message of all paths being equal and personal. Regardless, the food at the restaurant was delicious and all vegan/vegetarian. I ate while waiting for the temple to open, then sat for the sankirtana (chanting) and offerings to Krishna. It was very peaceful and the music was lovely. I would go again, for sure. I bought a few more books to help form a better idea, now with my framework of experience.

The Vedanta Society was totally different. I arrived in the early afternoon and met up with a monk from there who I recently met in Pittsburgh. I sat for lunch with he and some other monastics as well as laypersons that were living at or visiting the temple. Vedanta is an interesting, universalist approach to living based on the teachings of the Hindu saint Sri Ramakrishna and his disciple Swami Vivekenanda. The practices are intensely personal, highly inspiring and steeped in all-pervading love and consciousness. Despite these lofty beliefs, I was taken aback by the temple serving some meat for lunch and some of the monks even eating it. People are entitled to their own paths and choices, but for a group teaching a way of life based on love and worship of God in all things big and small, I find this to be odd and unsettling. I didn't let this ruin my time there, which involved hearing a particularly wonderful lecture on Bhakti (love) for the Holy Mother, a quick meditation in the ever-peaceful temple, and connecting with another visitor named Mark, but it really got me thinking about certain cognitive dissonance that is seemingly accepted, even by those on a higher path.

If people don't teach and believe in nonviolence and the universal Divine in all things, then it wouldn't be surprising that their diet would include sentient living beings with souls and lives just like their own. However, if you teach love and respect of all beings, how is it possible to not realize the contradictions in words and practices? Having just read all of Swami Vivekenanda's Religion of Love lectures, this doesn't fit even at the preparation level of Self-realization. A visiting swami at the temple in Pittsburgh once said that now religion is a lot of arguing about rules, especially diet and food. This may be true, but if the mind and thought arise from consumed foods, as expounded and explored in Religion of Love, then how can a message of love be delivered by those who's actions betray the divinity of any living being? I find it hard to rectify these discrepancies. On the flip side, I was inspired by the Hare Krisha temple's restaurant and its dedication to practicing and preaching ahimsa, or nonviolence, with their offerings of food to both Krishna and the world.

On the positive note, having time to read the aforementioned book in about a day was excellent. It was truly inspiring and presented many ideas to inquire about both of myself and teachers of various religious paths. I have already started two other books on the flight! (I bought a lot of books yesterday and mailed them home!)

I also had another "thinking moment" on Tuesday when someone asked me why I was going to Thailand. I gave some answer about a few specific things I wanted to do there. It was a "real" answer, but rang as somewhat unsatisfactory to me. It is hard to explain about going somewhere just for the experience, without a specific goal. I am basically doing just that. As I thought about it more, it became harder to justify. As I thought about it less, it felt right. Weird, I know. But, splitting the mind between uncertain future goals and the unravelling now separates any chance of observing and experiencing. As I sat in traffic on the way to the airport, just happy to be where I was, when I was, everything started to make sense. A smile on the face of the present moment is, indeed, better than simply worrying about a better tomorrow.

To follow this with a bit of exciting news...I just found out yesterday that the Vegan festival in Thailand starts the day that I arrive! I am legitimately excited. I thought I missed it, because if was earlier last year, when I was there in early October. However, the lunar calendar obviously worked in my favor, as did a little good luck and I'll be able to celebrate by eating lots of 100% vegan dishes for the first 8 days I am there!

Hanging out with Spencer was also great. About 10 years ago, when he lived in Pittsburgh, we started going to the gym together. Now, we both train martial arts, too. Pretty cool that our paths are sort of similar. It gave us a lot to talk about. Additionally, he showed me a lot of his artworks, which all present a more realized vision than the last works I saw of his. He has been really busy with good things! I would like to thank he and Alana for their extreme hospitality. I can wait to visit LA again to hang and go eat Thai and Burmese food with them. It was great to reconnect after all these years.

So, this is a long post. There is no wifi on the plane, which should arrive in Taipei in about 2.5 hours. I actually slept. I also wrote some Laika stories and did 30 minutes of meditation. Pretty good flight so far. Will post this soon!

Story 73: The Not-So-Small Lapdog

In addition to cleaning up after Mario, Laika had another favorite pastime at Lynda's. After she finished her thorough cleaning of the crumbs, she loved to jump on the couch and share some quality time with Lynda which usually resulted in Laika perched precariously in her lap!

Laika never really seemed to know that she was over 60 lbs. Even as a pup of 37 lbs when I first took her under my care, she loved to be on top of me most of the time. She would crawl onto my lap as I sat at the dining room table or wedge herself under me as I slept. As she grew, she continued these habits. She was a pure cuddler, there is no doubt about it!

At Lydna's, Laika loved to do the same things. After her crumb-clearing, her many tiered ritual reflected her love of giving and receiving attention. First, she would wiggle toward the sofa and sit on Lynda's feet, waiting for an invitation to jump up with her. Next, Laika would sit, then lay down next to her, biding time to make a move. As soon as Lynda would lean forward, Laika would slyly squeeze herself between Lynda and the back cushion. Working her way from behind to the front, Laika would somehow manage to end up sitting awkwardly on Lynda's lap, smiling happily as she received a nice massage as a reward for her troubles.

Each time this ritual started, Lynda and I could predict how it would end! Regardless, watching Laika work her way through the different maneuvers was always funny. She fancied herself so sneaky, but in reality, she was a creature of habit and a complete goofball, at that. Lynda would laugh so much as Laika's whiskery face nuzzled her throughout the whole routine. It was definitely an act of pure love on Laika's part, she wanted to be close with those she cared about. And, in this case, she wanted to sit on them as well!

However, this lap-time ritual might have also been a way for Laika to thank her personal stylist...

Story 72: Canine Vacuum

Laika loved to eat crunchy things, like tortilla chips, apples and carrots. She also loved to eat crumbs of any sort, though they were mostly of the crunchy variety. Running the sweeper, therefore, wasn't a necessary regular activity. With Laika the Canine Vacuum around, I readily excused myself of some of the cleaning duties!

Laika patrolled the kitchen at all hours examining the floor for any bits of leftovers. Pushing her nose under and behind appliances and cabinets not only revealed crunchy hidden treasures, but usually adorned her with a beard of dusty debris on her whiskers. She didn't care and happily munched away at the bounty of crumbs. She loved this job and did it quite well, happily inspecting the floor with gusto daily. Luckily, the food I ate was non-toxic for dogs, so she was safe to put in overtime if necessary.

Each time we would visit my parents, she would give their kitchen the same treatment, licking the floor to extract forgotten treats. Much to my mom's chagrin, Laika exposed the truth that no place is completely crumb-free. My reality was already liberated from that illusion long ago. The best spot for Laika was under my dad's chair at the dining room table!

Lynda's house was another cornucopia for Laika, as her friend Mario was known to leave a trail of crumbs emanating from his seat at the table. Laika loved to visit and bat cleanup before getting some quality time and attention on the couch. Lynda was thankful for Laika's tireless efforts in "sweeping" the dining room, kitchen and even the living room. It was as if Mario's every movement was mapped for Laika to follow! From the time we arrived, her tail didn't stop wagging at all due to the endless excitement left for her discovery.

Since Laika passed, I've needed to start sweeping more, just to keep up with the errant crumb control in the kitchen. Her absence has also been felt by Lynda, who frequently mentions missing the services of one wiggly pitbull canine vacuum. In hindsight, maybe Laika's ongoing war against the sweeper was really just about job security?

ออกมาแล้ว: On My Way

วันนี้แอนดี้ออกมาเที่วยแล้วครับ กำลังเขียนนี้ในเรื่องบินไป Los Angeles แอนดี้จะอยู่ที่ LA ประมาณ 1 วันครึ่ง ตื่นเต้นสำหรับไปชมวัดฮินดูไปหาเพื่อนและไปทานอาหารเจที่ร้านไทยด้วย ที่ LA ก็มีร้านขายหนังสือฮินดูที่ผมชอบมากๆ วันนี้หลังจากไปรับรถเช่าแอนดี้จะไปร้านนี้ครัย

ปีนี้ตอนแอนดี้มาเที่ยวรู้สึกแปลกเพาระว่าไม่มีไลก้า รู้สึกว่าไม่มีความรับผิดชอบจริงๆ คิดถึงไลก้า ก็คิดถึงเลี้ยงไลก้าด้วยครับ แต่ว่าปีนี้ตอนไปเที่ยวไทยอยู่แอนดี้จะไปเลี้ยงช้างกับหมาด้อยให้ไลก้า ก็จะไปเรียนฤษีดัดตนแล้วมวยไทย ทุกอย่างนี้จะช่วยแอนดี้ทำดีและทำสมาธิ แอนดี้จะเอาเจตนของไลก้าไปด้วยกันแน่นอนครับ

On the way to LA. It doesn't feel real that I am leaving. The last couple of months have been pretty hard. Loss is never easy, especially loss of a loved one and loss of responsibility to them that brought both joy and growth.

This trip will be good. A brief stop in Los Angeles, seeing and old friend, visiting a peaceful Hindu temple and eating good food. Then on to Thailand for 5 weeks, with possible excursions to Laos and Cambodia.

I am looking forward to seeing old friends and meeting new ones. I am looking forward to time alone and reading/writing a lot, too. I will train Muay Thai after my broken thumb recovers, but the wait is an opportunity to study "Thai yoga" in Chiang Mai. The focus on mind before body in this practice will be very good for me, hopefully providing a fresh perspective on meditative techniques.

I realized that my 108th story about Laika will be the day I return home: Thanksgiving. Kind of an awesome coincidence that all of those events are on the same day! I will continue to post daily stories about Laika, because her spirit of excitement accompanies me always. As such, I will make it a point to discover the joy in everything I encounter on this trip.

Thanks to my mom and dad for waking up super early today to drive me to the airport. It still doesn't feel real that I am on the way. What is "real" really, though? I have plenty of transit time to contemplate this...or not. I'll wait for it to unfold. No rush.

Story 71: The Bowl Licker

As noted two stories ago, Laika was one of the world's fastest eaters. She not only inhaled every crumb, but then cleaned the bowl, too! It was odd, because this process actually took longer than "eating."

After Laika munched every last morsel of food, her real work began! It was almost as if it was a compulsion, because she would so thoroughly and meticulously lick the empty bowl, all the while wagging her tail. This was not a quiet process, either. In addition to tongue on stainless steel, the sound of teeth on bowl and jingling tags turned her ritual into a cacophony, usually crescendoing in a loud crash as the bowl fell from its holder (or a splash if it hit the water bowl directly). Each time, as if it were the first, Laika would jump from being startled. Then, immediately start wagging her tail in a self congratulatory way!

Laika would sometimes lick the bowl for over 10 minutes if left alone, especially if I went back to bed after letting her out. In order to curtail this behavior, I would either call her back to bed, which didn't usually work or flip the bowl over and tell her, "no more." This would elicit a hard blink from her as she would duck as a natural response. But it stopped her, which was necessary at times when she had treatments in her mouth and extra licking might be bad.

I think her chemotherapy affected her mouth and tongue, which made her want to lick more. Plus, the metal bowl was probably cool and soothing. In order to not totally ruin this joyful practice for her, I would allow her to lick a few minutes before flipping it over. She would be bummed, but change her focus to drinking water incessantly instead!

As with food and treats, this bowl-licking ritual showcased Laika's laser like focus when she wanted to employ it. It was always so funny that the eating took about 10x less than the clean-up! However, clean-up was another of Laika's favorite duties. In fact, she was a regular canine vacuum!

Story 70: Worst Sound in the World

I had planned (and masterfully set-up in yesterday's blog) to write about Laika's bowl-licking obsession. However, this morning I was given a rude awakening by Big Baby's vote for worst sound in the world: the smoke detector chirp. So, my subject was chosen for me...15 minutes before me alarm went off, sadly.

As a young pup, Laika wasn't too scared of loud noises. She was able to listen to distant fireworks without any problem and didn't seem to care if they were close-by, either. All of that changed one day during the first spring that I was taking care of her. She was alone in the apartment that day, crated and, presumably, sleeping happily. Since this was after I bolted the crate to the baseboard, I had peace of mind that she would be there, waiting eagerly to see me when I went home to feed and walk her on my dinner break. Unfortunately, I was greeted by an entirely different scene.

As soon as I opened the apartment door, I could hear the chirp of the smoke detector battery dying. I could also hear Laika pounding hysterically on the inside of her crate! I quickly rushed to the dining room and released her. She was shaking with terror and immediately ran to me to protect her from the sound. She looked completely pitiful and I consoled her for a moment before climbing on a chair to remove the offending battery. Laika sat in place panting, but happy that the sound had ceased. As I sat on the floor to hug and kiss her, I noticed a gash on her nose from her struggle to escape her noisy prison. I can only image how frantic she must have been trying to get away from the endless high-pitched pulse.

Once she felt better, I gave her the meal she had probably been dreaming about as she was rudely awakened by the horrible noise. She ate it quickly (as per usual) and then she happily rush to the door to go outside. Laika seemed normal (for her) on our walk, but as soon as we returned to the apartment, she started shaking and following me closely, slinking behind my every step. I couldn't leave her in this condition. I called Missy to see if she had some advice. As luck would have it, she was working from home and told me to drop Big Baby off at her place on my way back to work! Laika had never been more excited to jump into the truck and escape the source of the evil beeping. I was so thankful that Missy offered to help, despite Laika's track record with destroying her stuff and annoying Ramona, her pup. Everything turned out ok, as I'm sure Laika was more than excited to not be home alone.

Since I never wanted to see Laika so terrified again, I made sure to keep changing the batteries regularly. However, once in a while, an errant chirp from smoke in the kitchen or something else would make her cringe and shake in fear. I remember another time having to take her in the car with me in the dead of night in the dead of winter when a battery in a forgotten smoke detector started to chirp. Leaving her at home, even after the sound ceased, would have been torture!

After moving into our current house, I had planned to change all the batteries while Laika was at her chemotherapy appointment one week. This would ensure that she wouldn't hear a chirp and would be none the wiser. Several days ahead of plan, though, I awoke to a loud chirp and a hysterical Laika! At least I already had the batteries. Laika got to hang out in the backyard while I sleepwalked through the replacement process. (Apparently, I neglected the one that woke me up today!) Laika calmed-down pretty quickly and even went back to sleep within a few minutes! I was so happy that she had seemingly overcome some of her fear. Either that, or she was just really really sleepy!

Even though Laika is no longer with me, my immediate reaction to the chirping this morning was to look for her to make sure that she was ok! I guess her behavior indirectly has conditioned me to panic at the same sound, but for different reasons.I will have to agree with her, it is maybe the worst sound in the world!

Heisa and Laika chillin', unaware of the smoke detector above.