Shortly after Laika adopted me, she stayed at Missy's for a week and a half while I was on tour with the band I played in. During this time, Laika managed to eat about $250 worth of Missy's shoes. Usually by "eating shoes" one would think that they were merely chewed. This was not the case. Among other pairs, Laika chewed, swallowed and passed an entire pair of steel-toed shoes (minus the sole, laces and steel). She was fine, but I owed Missy some compensation. So, every time Missy needed help at her house, I was ready to lend a hand to work-off Laika's debt.
I had already done random jobs to help around the house, but at one point Missy needed massive help in her yard. I am pretty certain it was when the tree behind her house had been struck by lightning and I got to be a "pro" chain-sawer for a day (which was pretty fun!) or maybe it was when she was redoing her garden plot. Hmmm...I can't remember exactly. Regardless, when I went over to do the work, I brought Laika with me to hang out with Missy's pup Ramona. They got along really well, even though Laika would constantly annoying Ramona to get her toys or for attention. Ramona was smaller, but scrappier and usually put Laika in her place in a semi-good-natured way. So, while Missy and I were toiling outside, the dogs were playing in the house.
After about an hour or so, we checked on the dogs and everything was ok. They were just hanging out, playing like usual. Laika was stoked to get some attention, as she had been looking outside at us pretty frequently to be nebby. The next check-in a while later was not so normal...because, well, it involved Laika. She was not anywhere to be found on the first floor, but from the looks of the kitchen she had outsmarted the food-defenses and managed to open the complex handles on the plastic container of Ramona's fishy food...helping herself to about 6 lbs of it! (It might have been more, we are not exactly sure.) Following the odor of Laika's emissions to the 2nd floor, we found her laying in the hallway with a completely distended stomach and a content, but completely sick look on her face. She had also left a "gift" of a poop in the guest room. How nice of her! As usual, after her path of destruction, Ramona didn't want anything to do with her.
Missy was a little upset, because Laika was constantly ruining stuff at her house...but after seeing Laika wallowing in her self-inflicted gluttony, Missy could not stop laughing. I thought the whole thing was hilarious, but Laika looked rough. Her stomach honestly looked like a giant football, with her large scar from being spayed as the seams! She was laying partially on her side against the wall releasing alternating groans and horrible farts. Missy's house seriously smelled like a giant ball of dog gas. I could not stop laughing...then it dawned on me that this would happen at the apartment when Laika and I went home. It was slightly sobering, but still totally amusing. In no time, Laika was up and walking around, wagging her tail all over to help spread the "aroma."
Upon returning home, Laika still looked like a blimp, but was moving around more easily. Still, she was pretty lethargic from her binge eating. She continued to lay around, groaning and passing gas. Each time my roommate or I acknowledged what she was doing, so would wag her tail really hard, thus circulating the smell even more. Luckily, it was a warm day and we didn't have central a/c, so most of the windows were open; otherwise, there might have been casualties.
Laika, as usual, found a way to one-up herself in the evening, though. Due to the impending threat of rectal disaster, I decided it would be best to stay home with Laika until further notice (as it was a weekend to begin with). Her belly was pretty sensitive to even a small amount of different food, so I patiently waited for the grand finale. Not wanting to share the joys of Laika's emissions alone, I invited two friends over to watch the MC5 documentary that night. They were immediately struck by the odor, but, of course, found amusement from it. I tried to get Laika to stay in my room because it had a/c, but she wanted to be with us in the living room to share her misery. For the entire duration of the film, she laid on her back directly in front of the fan firing volley after lethal volley of fishy-scented farts interspersed with sighs of pleasure and pain. The three of us trying to watch the movie could not stop from laughing at Laika's (self-inflicted) misfortune. It was disgustingly unbearable, yet so funny. As soon as the movie finished, we quickly moved to the balcony for fresh air. To this day, I consider my friends' bravery under-fire as a sign of true friendship.
I obviously did not feed Laika again for about 24 hours, just to make sure she was able to clear the excess food out of her system. I also limited her water intake, too...just to be safe. She did experience some potty-problems, but, luckily, none in the house. After about 30 hours, her stomach was no longer distended and her reign of rear-end warfare gradually ceased. She was back to being able to do more than just wallow and fart. It was good to have her back in more ways than one.
Usually, when a dog does something inappropriate and they are caught in the act, there is hope of them not repeating the same action in the future. As Laika returned to her normal self from engorged, glutton-monster, I seriously wondered if she would learn anything from her actions. As it turns out, she did learn...a little bit. The next time she broke into Ramona's food, she only ate around 2 lbs! Not perfect, but a step in the right direction! I am just glad that I was able to live through this rather unsavory episode without permanent lung or carpet damage. Never a dull moment with a lovable super-glutton as a companion!
A young Laika offering a view of her "business end."
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